I’m 17 and I have my driver's license and I’m legally old enough for many things. However, my parents have not allowed me to drive ever since I upgraded from my permit to my license. I have also been told I’m not allowed to get a job. I’m not allowed to have sleepovers and I can barely see people on weekdays (m-f) even with online school 4 days a week (not Wednesdays). I have to watch my friends do fun things without me all the time because they always say no. When they take my phone, my mom reads all my messages, dms, watches every Tik Tik I’ve sent people, and reads snap conversations from years ago. I get interrogated about every single person on my phone. I’m not allowed to date because “they don’t think I’m ready” and I’m not allowed to hang out with a boy alone or ever be alone with one even if it’s my guy best friend or church friends.
When I tell them I’m going to be an adult in a year and I need to start doing things and I should be allowed to, they get incredibly mad and say how concerned they are that I would say that. I’ve tried reasoning when I ask to do things like “why is is so bad for me to do something fun like go snowboarding” and “why can’t I have a sleepover when there’s no school” and they just think I’m crazy.
I hate my life and I feel there’s no point to it when all they want me to do is clean or do school work. My friends don’t understand and they don’t have to deal with anything like this. My parents are my biggest issue in my life. I cry probably 6/7 days a week and I hate being home. I get a sick feeling every time I’m getting dropped off or have to say goodbye to my friends. I’m not sure if this is normal, my friends say it is not normal for a 17 year old. Sometimes I think I would be so much better off dead and it would finally show my parents how miserable they make me. However, when I do get to see my friends I have so much fun and I love being alive. That’s what keeps me going, getting to be with the people I love that make me happy. I just don’t understand why my parents don’t want me to have a good life they want me to just do exactly what they want every second of the day. I feel suffocated and controlled. It’s gotten to the point where I love my friends parents more that my own and I want to either die or run away.
What are some ways I can cope with this because it hurts so much getting left out of things because of them. What are some ways I can cope with the sadness of watching my friends experience their teen years without me? What are some ways I can get them to loosen up on me? What can I say that will actually get to their head? How can I present what they’re doing to me in a respectful way?