My daughter was nappy-free even before she turned 3. She is now 3 years 3 months. We went camping for a few days and she did poo in her undies all the time but never peed in her pants. This continued even when we returned home after 10 days. Now she doesn't even tell us and stays in the soiled diaper until discovered by the smell. She never wets the bed. She gets a sticker when she poos in the toilet, which works 1 out of 10 times. I told her we need to consult the doctor if she forgets to tell next time. I am not sure what should I do?

Update: Thank you for the wonderful suggestion, it has been three days in a row my daughter is using toilet for the poo too. I was so embarrassed and sad when she restarted pooing in the diaper. Nothing was working. She was more adamant of not even telling about it after pooing in the diaper. I asked her what she wants to buy, she said she wants to go to the toy shop. I gave her an idea if she gets 5 smileys stick on her vanity she will get to go to her favorite toy shop. It's been 3 days and she got 3 smileys already. hopefully she will get 2 more without any soiled nappy or diaper. She even doesn't want to wear the diaper any more. I am happy, relaxed and a bit surprised that the idea worked so well.

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    had a similar problem. Attention: to give negative impact after detecting the poo, will result in more "hiding it" behavior, because the children this age could not connect it in a wider range (pooing in diaper gets no direct reaction, but detecting poo in the diaper does) Feb 1, 2021 at 20:19
  • @manisha - please don't post a thank you post, instead use the upvote buttons on posts that help you, that way folks can earn rep.
    – Rory Alsop
    Feb 6, 2021 at 13:50

1 Answer 1


So, this is a tricky one. I think it requires a bit careful look. I have some ideas about why this is happening. First, she gets the attention she needs by doing that. Especially after a siblings arrives or parents are so busy with the job and and when they realized pooping helps them they do that. The second is, something might happened at the camp. She is kind of scared to poo. It is not so easy in the nature. The third one is, she is so busy with what she is doing and pooing is a long break. So, she sees that she can get away with that, she just keeps doing that.

What to do? I will to write a full plan that help you out in all three option. First, hug her more, squeeze her. She will love that. And follow the routine of what she does when he needs attention.

Second, talk to her about the camp. Just do not ask general question. In a children time-set, a day is a like year in a adult time-set. So,imagine yourself getting an information about sth last year. What was the most beautiful thing at the camp, what made her suprise?

Third, make a schedule to go to poo. I do not know her regular times. But, when you bring her to toilet in the regular hours, it will help her to pay attention. And be gentle in your words at the time. You do not punish her, because she does not like the smell of poo, so you just help her. she might resist, throw a tantrum, especially when you say "let's go to the toilet together" in the middle of her favourite play. If your sound is so helpful and firm, she will begin to say when she needs to poo. But if you get angry, you will have another problem.

So, If nothing helps, then you should consult a doctor.

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