I have a problem with my 13 year old daughter that she only recently told me about. I decided to ask here because there's already some other questions on this topic.
She told me that she holds her poop in for weeks at a time. She said that it's been going on for as long as she can remember. I was confused at first, so I told her I would buy her a laxative or some food with lots of fiber. She started shaking her head aggressively, and said, "No, no, no, you don't get it at all." It's a gesture she does when she knows you're 100% wrong. I did more research, and realized there wasn't much you could find about this topic on the internet. I'm convinced this isn't physical, as she seemed humiliated with me even mentioning doing anything that would be done for constipation.
I feel like I should have noticed the signs, like her hiding dirty panties when she was younger, but I thought she just had trouble with wiping. Every 2 or 3 weeks she will produce a gigantic poop that I will have to de-clog.
She doesn't soil her panties anymore, but she does complain that it feels like there's a rock in her stomach. She constantly rubs the spot and says she likes the feeling. She also wants to talk to me about a issue a lot. I can't exactly do the ignoring approach when she's constantly asking to talk about it. It's like it embarrasses her, but she still likes talking about it. (She used to use excuses that she was "just constipated" when she was holding it for weeks. She also went in the bathroom and pretended to go.) I don't want to take her to a doctor, because covid (she's scared of it, plus she has sensory issues with the mask) and they will tell me to use laxatives, and there's no way she will go with that.
Hopefully I put enough information. I need an answer quickly, so if you have any suggestions please tell me!
Things I've already tried:
- Telling her that everyone poops and it's normal, and saying stuff like, "Miku poops too, and she tells you that you should so you can be like her!" (Miku is one of her favorite characters, and has been for years. The rest of her favorites are literal vehicles.)
- I can't offer her rewards, as all she wants are expensive technology devices that we can't afford.
- It's definitely all a mental issue, I've asked her and she's sure of it. So medicine won't work.