Some say screen time isn't good. Others encourage non-verbal communication.
What should we do with our 6-month-old baby?
His mom and I have IQs of 129 and 135, respectively. The child has good genes and we want him to have a high IQ as well.
The child smiles and looks happy when he watches videos like this.
Also, he likes the Fun Fun Elmo series.
He cries when he sees something he doesn't like.
However some people say videos should be avoided.
At six months old, the key is to talk a lot, and to give the baby lots of opportunities to explore their environment. One approach that worked well for us was to follow the Montessori approach to organizing our house and what our children played with.
One example for that approach is on this site, which gives a good overview of the concepts. Key things to consider:
This is a key time to help develop her mind and body, and take advantage of every minute you have with her. Don't focus on "IQ" - and these wouldn't be any different for any child, no matter their potential. Focus on interacting with her and giving her as much stimulation as she wants, and she'll be well set up for success!
If your IQs are so high, use that intelligence. You can't make a child more clever. That's built in, by nature. What you want are skills they can develop through nurture.
You can help a child to build language skills by constantly interacting with them, talking to them, singing to them, reading to them. The more they experience in terms of seeing and hearing people physically with them talking, the faster they'll build those skills. They can't learn from seeing a person on TV.
There are many studies that find a link between educational outcomes and being read to, but many of these confuse cause and effect. Reading to children is something which parents do when they take a deep involvement in raising the child. What matters most is parental attention, not the book. Although the concept of "books are fun" is still important for literacy later.
Sing to them, especially rhythmic and repetitive songs. If you do want to get numeracy in early, you can do counting songs and raise fingers. Don't expect the child to pick up on the actual counting for a couple of years though.
Work with them to play with toys that build motor skills. Putting shapes into holes is a classic children's toy, and it really does help them. Lots of those kind of toys.
Take them outdoors and let them see the world around. More new sights to stimulate their developing brain, and more new words.
You're probably also looking at baby led weaning about now. If you can find foods they really like (and which are healthy!), they'll transfer onto solid food more easily if they can pick it up and suck it or chew it, compared to having spoons pushed in their face. It's also another good motor and visual skills exercise, picking up food and getting it to their mouth. Don't reduce the milk until they're getting proper amounts of solid food, though.
And lastly, quit talking nonsense about your IQ and your "good genes". Don't compare your child's achievements to yours, especially if they don't do as well as you. Don't let your child hear you boasting either, because they shouldn't be comparing themselves to other people like that. Set a moral example.
Above all else, let her play. In my opinion there is way too much focus on academics in the early years these days, and not enough on creativity and play which are integral to how a child learns about the world around it. Let her play, be creative, use her imagination. These things will serve her phenomenally well later in life (problem solving, deductive reasoning, etc.), especially if her peers lack in those areas. She will likely be more able to excel beyond them.
Including your children in your life and activities builds both intelligence and capacity. Especially for young children, avoid passive activities like videos, or non-human interactions such as computer games --resist the temptation to let YouTube raise them for you. Instead, have real conversations with your children. Talk to them and listen. Do creative activities together. Encourage them to create their own books, their own music. Let them help you in the kitchen, or with household chores, or on personal projects. That will both build your personal connection, and their ability to engage productively with the world. They are never too young for you to engage with them in some way, and the younger they are, the more crucial and vital that is. There will be plenty of enough time for them to gain mastery and fluency with technology when they get older.
There's hard evidence that too much focus on intelligence can be counter-productive. A child who is taught that their achievements are tied to an inborn quality that they have no conscious control over can be overconfident and complacent when facing challenges, and feel helpless and insecure in the face of failures. Children who are praised, instead, for hard work, persistence and dedication, learn resilience, and a sense of personal agency. I was an intelligent child, and I can report firsthand that intelligence doesn't lead inevitably to achievement. It took me a long time to retrain myself to not just rely on my inborn talents for success.
What can I do to a 6 month child so she end up smart and have high IQ?
Your child's IQ is what it is. (The constant drive of IQ test developers is to take the child's socio-economic and educational background out of the picture.) The only thing that can change it is damage (via trauma or exposure to certain chemicals).
Thus, nothing that any of the other answers suggest can make her more intelligent, it can "only" help make her smarter, more well-balanced, creative, responsible, etc.
EDIT: This article quotes a behavioral psychologist who says "You can raise your child's IQ by six points by" reading to them and playing simple teaching games.
That means the brain is not infinitely plastic, and that there is a hard upper limit to a person's IQ.
Several of the other answers touch near this, but I didn't see anyone directly state it.
One of the most beneficial things you can do to help your child's development is to read to/with your child.
Reading with your child is one of the most effective ways to build the "language" neural connections. Reading aloud to kids has clear cognitive benefits, and also has the benefit of strengthening their social, emotional, and character development.
One of the most important things you can do for your child as they reach the age where they can begin eating solid foods is to make sure you are watching their early-childhood nutrition.
Make sure your child stays on a healthy growth curve and is getting plenty of essential nutrients from a variety of sources. Micronutrients that have shown to be critical for healthy brain development include iodine, vitamin B-12, Zinc and especially iron. Look for fortified rice, meats and cereals to help.
Making sure your child is getting proper nutrition is perhaps one of the best things you can do for their brain development.
You will probably be interested in the book "Kindergarten is too late" (幼稚園では遅すぎる) by Masaru Ibuka. To quote a review of the book:
Masaru Ibuka makes astonishing (and interesting) suggestions for the early development of the child. Since a small child would rather learn than eat, why not let him learn foreign languages at the same time as his mother tongue? Why not let him learn to swim at the same time as crawl? Why not let him learn to read, and learn to play a musical instrument?
...
The author claims that training in violin playing develops powers of concentration. Another interesting claim of Ibuka’s is that excellence in one thing gives confidence in others. Even if the reader does not agree fully with Ibuka about early-development theories, this book will at least encourage him to think about satisfying the young child’s immense curiosity about his environment.
You can find the Russian version on the publishers website for free, but unfortunately the English version costs ~$150 as its been out of print for several decades now.
There are many kinds of smart. IQ, logic and math aptitude are not everything. Familiarize yourself with the many areas your child will need to improve in over the years and make sure to include them all in your child's upbringing and education. Interpersonal skills, empathy, physical education, coordination, morals.
Also, one does not need a high IQ in order to be happy and lead a fulfilling life.
You may want to familiarize yourself with Montessori ubringing philosophy. Take a quick look at Montessori parenting or the 6 Montessori parenting habits. While this approach may be controversial, especially when strictly adhering to Montessori's rules, there are certain ideas and philosophy that I think are worth considering.
And a private remark: let the child explore, let the child make mistakes. It's the basis of engineering and, I think, the basis of all life: try, fail and improve. It's evolution, it's literature, it's rocket science.
Yes, as a general rule they gain nothing from screen time at this age. It represents only 'opportunity cost'. That is, they lose out from the things they could have been doing instead. They can't understand what they're seeing and hearing, so they have no way to contextualise it and save it into their brains as useful knowledge.
Some people are arguing that IQ is inherited and can't be changed, but that's a little inaccurate. Your genes give you source material but nurture is what 'makes the most of it' and allows it to develop. A tomato seed can only ever grow into a tomato plant. But how big and fruitful it is, or if it ever grows at all, is heavily dictated by its environment. The genes may limit or increase the potential for fruit and size etc but a poor and unhealthy environment will do far more damage. So that's kind of how it is with humans or other animals. You can't make them 'more' clever, you can optimise what they already have. You're probably aware that at birth babies still have a huge amount of brain growth left to do.
Safety, love, play (chat), good food and exercise.
Stress (feeling unsafe) and neglect will limit brain development and contribute to developmental delays, mental health problems etc. Google the Romanian orphans to find out more.
Make sure your baby always feels loved and safe. That is the most important thing. Frightened animals (and people) cannot learn as well because the brain will ALWAYS prioritise safety first. This includes practicing a level of radical empathy that is lacking in many parents. (not spoiling the kid, but understanding them and explaining things).
Talk to him all the time - try to take him everywhere that is safe and appropriate, and chat about the things you see. They understand a lot long before they can speak and it wires their brain to your language and feeling loved. It develops an active, thinking, mind.
As he gets older try to explore lots of different things. Don't expect your kid to have the same talents and interests as you. They might, they might not. You need to figure out what they were born to love and are naturally good at (or at least happy to spend lots of time doing) and make opportunities and give gentle encouragement (not pressure). Back to the tomato plant - we give it fresh air, water and sunshine, and let the plant do the rest. Oh well then we add some support poles when needed.
If you want a child that grows up into someone who can think things through:
Read up about the Socratic method and try that. It's basically asking questions and getting the child to give their ideas.
Never ever ever make fun of him for his questions or theories.
Let him make mistakes. As long as it isn't life threatening/seriously harmful, mistakes (in a safe and non judgemental environment) are an incredibly valuable learning tool. Yes, even at six months as they start to explore their environment you can let them try things you know won't work.
In a similar vein, responsibility. Let him have responsibility for anything he can handle. Assume he can handle it (age appropriate of course) before taking over and diving in.
Critical thinking is a good intellectual skill. You can help develop this by modelling it and talking to the child, asking questions etc. You will probably want to use google for better info.
You write that both you and your wife are highly intelligent.
So I would like to ask: What did your parents and the parents of your wife do that you both became so intelligent? Do you remember some things? Or would you say that you had a normal childhood, just like other children?
I guess that they did not do anything special. And they both were successful in having an intelligent child. If a child is highly intelligent, this will show sooner or later, and if you are a good parent, you will help her to develop her abilities and interests. But you cannot produce intelligence in a child.
Every baby, no matter how intelligent they are, should be loved and cared for. Talk to your daughter, carry her around, play with her, spend time with her. Please do not put any pressure on her about the way you think she has to develop. You can only help your child to become what she already is, to develop what is in her. But if you try to force her, you will only harm her.
And please do not forget that people can be very happy in life without being highly intelligent or super successful. Your daughter has to find her own way through life, and she will if she has supportive parents.
At this age children can pick up languages quite easily, so this is something you want to exploit. You can e.g. hire tutors for a few languages, like Chinese, ancient Greek, Latin etc. You should let your child play a lot, you can choose games that require some intellectual effort like counting without that being a formal arithmetic lesson.
Start with formal math like algebra somewhere between the age of 4 and 6. Around that age the language skills of children increases rapidly, and you can then teach math as a language. This is not done in the regular curriculum, we wait with abstract math when children are much older and this causes math to be perceived as a hard subject. But this not much different from trying to learn Chinese at the age of 16 when it would have been so much easier had you learned it at the age of 2.
Doing these things will cause your child to learn much better in school, he'll be able to start with lessons for much older kids and end up going to university in his early teens.
Exercise and nutrition is also important. Let your child eat only whole foods when it starts to eat solid foods. This has a large fiber content which is essential for the microbiome. If you start doing this when the child grows up, it will get used to eating 100 grams of fiber a day as an adult, which is the natural amount of fiber we all ate before the invention of agriculture. We now know that the microbiome is essential for optimal brain function.
Antibiotics destroy the microbiome. So, don't give give your child antibiotics unless it is really necessary for medical reasons. So, don't give antibiotics to cure a throat infection if your child is otherwise doing fine, just because his throat hurts a bit.
If you think IQ is a good measure of intelligence, you don't understand intelligence.
You can't make a child smart. What you can do, however, is teach the importance of critical thinking skills and scientific literacy.
You need to try and find a way to spark some intellectual curiosity and then foster that whichever way the child chooses to take it.
A few ideas:
Whatever you do, let your child take the lead. You are the facilitator. If you try to force it you'll become a helicopter parent, the child will resent you and you won't achieve what you think you will.
Good luck!
we want him to be high IQ as well
IQ is mostly nature and only partly nurture.
There is a known case of a young boy (I'll try to find it online) who was intensively taught chess at an early age because his parents wanted him to become a young grand master. He became a very good player but never progressed beyond a certain level. He simply didn't have the right levels of memory and logic required. Who knows, if he had been allowed to choose, he might have become a great artist or writer. Instead he became neurotic under the constant pressure and disappointment from his parents and has now disappeared from public view.
Do you want your child to become a badge of honour for you or do you want your child to have a happy life?
My suggestion. Find out by experiment what the child's talents and interests are and encourage those. Forget IQ.
The key is amount of time you spend with your kid.
Amount of time you spend with your kid matters. In comparision, there is nothing like quality time. It is about amount of time. Regarding how for the required goal, we need to remember, "Where there is a will there is a way" as it is situation specific.
An aspect which people didn't mention yet is that how you talk to your child is important. An infant is a paradox: It is at the same time simple and of infinite depth. Children need chit-chat and play and fun but they need serious communication as well. The principal attitude I want to stress is: Take your child serious as a person. Listen to what they have to say. Right now that will be non-verbal, but they do communicate! When they want to play, when they complain, when they are tired, take them seriously. That will assure them that they are being heard. If they don't want to do something, ask yourself: Is it really necessary? (It is surprising how many things aren't.) Later, when they ask a question, answer. Many questions from children are hard to answer. Always strive to answer to the best of your abilities. Take that as an opportunity: You will learn together with your child. The communication is not a one-way street. This is fun, and a fun way of bonding. Things learned while emotionally involved stick.
A last question. Are you a couch potato? Probably not. Want your child to become one? Probably not. Therefore: Zero screen time.
Treat your child with respect and attention, from day 1.
The key is amount of time you spend with your kid.
Amount of time you spend with your kid matters. In comparision, there is nothing like quality time. It is about amount of time. Regarding how for the required goal, we need to remember, "were there is a will there is a way" as it is situation specific.
I will say this..keep them happy and engaged. Teaching our son simple sign language as a baby helped him ask for what he wanted = happy! Playing games like concentration with picture/word cards kept him engaged and he was happy with his success. Reading books "with" him helped his speech and reading skills. He was reading before 3 yrs old. He wanted to be like those around him. Case in point(for the negative side), he could count to 100 before he was 3 yrs old but one day new kids got put into his daycare class and mysteriously he forgot how to count that high. Keep them happy and engaged and they WILL amaze us all.
I thought a bit, and am deciding to come back to this question and want to say something beyond my earlier comment of "Read Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days! and take that book's lesson for a blueprint."
I ranked 7th in the nation in a math contest, scored a 172 on the Modern Languages Aptitude Test (linguist comment: "I'm not sure what to make of it. I've been scoring this test for 30 years and I've never seen a score this high"), and when complaining to a psychologist about a Harvard ThD acting strangely, got a gentle set of Socratic questions leading up to "The average Harvard PhD has never met someone as talented as you."
My reaction to the premise of this discussion is, "Why on earth? Let a kid be a kid." If your child develops around an IQ of 130, that is an absolutely wonderful thing. Leta Hollingsworth, a founding mother in gifted education, posited a range of "socially optimal intelligence" (see ...A Look at Profound Giftedness Through Orthodox Anthropology), and an IQ of 130-ish is set for some awfully beneficial experiences in life. Overclocking the child as much as you can, no matter how high your intentions, is exceedingly cruel if it succeeds.
I taught myself calculus in an independent study in eighth grade when geometry had me bored to tears, and I would underscore "I" here. I took initiatives and pursued them. Including musing about metaphysics on my bed way early, somewhere around the age of three. My parents didn't put social or other pressure to make me a genius, and if anything my parents would have had a simpler life if I hadn't asked questions like, "If white is the presence of all colors, and black is the absence of all colors, how come if I scribble with all my crayons on a piece of paper, it looks black instead of white?"
People have mentioned things you can do, and speaking as a former technology professional I would probably add a "Yes and amen" to what others have said about screen time; if I want to say something beyond "Let a kid be a kid," I'd encourage you to read and deeply digest my collection in The Luddite's Guide to Technology, which addresses the worst threats to intelligence faced by children today that the previous (mumble) hundred thousand years of human development ever faced in one single drop. But even here, as much as I mean The Luddite's Guide to Technology (and Profoundly Gifted Survival Guide, if it matters), I would give two pieces of advice:
Drop the eugenics grab.
Love your kid.
And that's it, no matter how much I stand behind my books.
