My wife's brothers live with us, some of them know where boundaries are and some are always telling my wife what to do with kids and intervening.
It has been annoying for me because it seems they are crossing boundaries and I told my wife our son will have tantrums. This has been going on for forever and more since we moved in because my mother-in-law died last year so I am paying the majority of bills & rent.
Today Uncle S was asking my 4-year-old to eat pasta but my son didn't want to and soon it turned into a forceful pushing him to eat and my son started crying while his uncle won't let him get off the kitchen counter. I told my wife to tell his brother to stop but she is very neutral so I called my son in the room.
While his uncle came I told him this is not the way to introduce food, you are scaring him. Imagine I force you to eat cheese (as he hates cheese) like this. one day you will have kids too. He told me I would make my kids like this, and I said it doesn't work that way.
I told my son to eat things, it is not like they going to feed you wrong things. I know he would have listened/ignore and he eats what he likes or unless I make something new fun to eat than he eats.
While in my room, I overheard the conversation on the dining table where my wife and his brothers were sitting, as he (uncle S) was telling the issue to his very arrogant big brother (who used to force my son to sit on the toilet seat until he pooped and he would cry for a long time). Uncle S was telling how our mom put in spice in my mouth, and while I was crying she hit me twice until I swallowed it and told my wife to do the same but my wife was silent. As I said she is neutral.
Was I right to intervene to call my son towards me and tell his uncle? If they respect me why was the issue discussed and my wife was silent whereas partners are supposed to be back of each other?