I am a 15-year-old and this is my problem : I was raised in an extremely Christian environment, I had no problem following what my parents and the church thought was best for me.

About three years ago I started to reflect about my position in Christianity and I realized I didn't actually believe. So since that time I question whether what my parents taught me was right.

I started to have feelings that I couldn't understand later I discovered that I was transgender and that really helped me put a name on what I was going through.

The problem is my parents neglect anything non-God related and lately I've been trying to be myself around them more. But they have been oppressing me when I try to express myself.

I tried to kill myself twice because I just can't be around them anymore (the rest of my family is also Christian, so I don't have anyone to trust in my family). They said I was selfish for not considering what the church might think about my behavior. I am really tired of lying to them. Now that we are confined 24/7 there's no escape. I just want to be able to be myself without them judging my every move.

How should I address this as an underage individual ? (Please note the fact that I can't talk to them about my feelings without crying)

  • 1
    Hi and welcome! This has been asked a number of times by people in the same difficult situation you find yourself in. Did you do a search of the site? You might fine some useful information (e.g. parenting.stackexchange.com/q/25114/9327), and can narrow down to something unanswered. Thanks, and good luck. Commented Nov 13, 2020 at 7:40
  • When family isn't an option, there are several online sources that can help you. (suicide hotlines or online support groups for transgenders) a friend of mine found a lot of support in such groups when dealing with it.
    – A.bakker
    Commented Nov 13, 2020 at 10:50
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    Does this answer your question? How do I tell my parents I'm no longer Christian? Commented Nov 18, 2020 at 2:00
  • @anongoodnurse I think 15 vs. 20 makes quite a difference. A 20 year old usually has the emotional, economical and legal means to emancipate themselves from their parents, a 15 year old often does not.
    – Philipp
    Commented Nov 27, 2020 at 10:08

1 Answer 1


My short answer to your question would be - what are you trying to accomplish when you say you want to tell your parents that you don’t agree with their beliefs. As it sounds like they are quite conservative and headstrong in their beliefs, are you trying to: change/open their minds, make it a more comfortable for you to be in their presence?

One primary consideration is your safety - this will be something that really only you can assess. Sometimes that may mean broaching topics with only trusted people in your life.

It is also pertinent to point out that only some of what we experience is within our “locus of control”. In other words, you can control only what is within your locus of control - your feelings, actions, reactions, and cannot control your parents’ thoughts, feelings, etc.

Since you are 15 and currently living with your family - are there certain things you can do to make your situation more bareable for the time being? Perhaps only talking about certain topics (like your studies, sports, etc.) and avoiding certain topics entirely?

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