This is my 2nd post. My first was regarding an issue with toddler hurting my dog. The toddler is not mine and I don't have any other children. I love the little boy and we have a great bond and hopefully me and the mum and 4 year old will be living together soon. Courts are deciding whether they can move 200 miles to live with me and away from dad.
Anyway, my issues are as follows:
When 4 year old is being told off her runs away. When he come's back he gets angry and sometimes shouts at me and mum. He only apologies if there is no other adult other than the one he is apologising too. and it can take up to 45 mins to get him to apologise and it's usually when he wants something (play or treat). We have a thinking corner, but he is rarely put on there as he tantrums. He has started to put us on the thinking corner for simply saying the wrong thing or accidentally bumping him, even if we apologise. He gets angry if we don't sit there. However, he refuses to go himself! When he accidentally hurts us he pretends that he is hurt to try and stop us telling him off. Truth is when he accidentally does anything we don't tell him off and just say accidents happen, but we do try and get him to apologise. He's started getting angrier and the other day he threw his chair backwards at his toys. I feel like even though he is 4 he is intelligent enough to know how to try and deflect any attention from when he has done something wrong, whether by accident or on purpose.
Background: He still sees his dad every week and we have no idea how his dad is with him. Although his dad as been very verbally abusive towards both me and mum including telling me not to have anything to do with his child and telling me that he's not mine. I have re-iterated that I just want whats best for mum and child but he still doesn't like me being with them. He has done a lot to try and break us up and for the first 3 years hardly saw his son. We pushed him into seeing him twice a week which he now does. I know race isn't an issue, but my girlfriend and he boy are African whilst I am white British. We believe the dad is trying to brainwash his son because the boy once said he didn't want me to read a bedtime story because I am not black like him and mummy.
All I want to do is be a good step dad/guardian or whatever I am called. Just need some advice on how to tackle his behaviour/tantrums/anger and lack of apology.