8

Not entirely sure if this question should go on this SE site since I'm not the adult in this situation, but I don't really know where else to ask it.

I like to make stuff. Pointless little things that just look cool. I do spend a little money on it, but not much since most of the stuff I use we already have around the house. Everything should be fine, but whenever I finish something the rest of the family(mom, dad, brother, and sister) likes to make fun of me. For example, once I hot-glued a LED to a glove and hooked it up to a button and battery for a halloween costume, but then I had to go through a bunch of comments like 'So you're gonna be Iron Man for Halloween?' and 'Next your gonna make the whole suit, right? Let me know when you can fly,' and others similar to that. Now, I wouldn't really mind it if it was just comments, but the tone of voice they use is really snarky and that's what really annoys me.

I really don't like them poking fun at me and their little jokes, and I really want them to stop, but if you have a good way to ignore them that would also be helpful. I've already kinda tried just telling them 'hey, I don't like that, cut it out,' in a half-joking way to test their reactions, and all that did was make it worse so I decided to abort and deal with it for a while. Now I just can't stand it anymore, and now that I'm trying to make more expensive things, I really don't need smart remarks that make me want to throw it out the window around every corner. Please suggest a way to get them to stop or ignore them.

  • 7
    I'll have to correct you, it sounds like you are the adult in this situation (albeit not the parent). – dxh Oct 11 at 16:31
  • 1
    How old are you? – Hilmar Oct 12 at 23:43
  • Are they jerks in other aspects of your life? Because I could see good parents making similar comments as fun banter, not insults. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that they're trying to hurt me. – Ryan_L Oct 13 at 5:24
  • 1
    @Ryan: I'd say their intent is close to irrelevant. We don't know what their intent is, but we do know the outcome of their actions. They obviously need to stop, well meaning or not. – dxh Oct 13 at 7:00
  • @Hilmar, I'm 16. – Ceramicmrno0b Oct 13 at 13:28
9

First of all, I hope you won't let them get to you. What you're doing sounds cool, I hope you pursue it for as long as it gives you joy. We need more creators, not more critics.

Second, I hope your parents don't realise what they're doing to you. A joy is a terrible thing to kill. My kids are still very young, but I hope one day they too will find a creative outlet that appeals to them. I cannot understand why they'd do anything but encourage that. It may feel like a bit of a stretch, but I think it'd be best to assume they don't understand how they make you feel. Bring it up with them when they haven't just commented on something. On a good day, tell them how you feel. Say you understand they're just trying to be funny, but that it puts you down, and that if they can't be supportive, you politely request that they refrain from commenting at all. Not in the half-joking way you've tried; be frank, and blunt. Tell them to stop.

Third, know that you're not overreacting. They may try to make you feel like you are. The way you feel is the way you feel, and your feelings are valid. It's not the person who is causing hurt who gets to decide what is and what isn't hurtful.

If you can't get them to respect your wish to not be made fun of, do what you need to ignore them. I'm afraid I don't have any good tricks for coping, but make up your mind that you don't care about their input in this part of your life. Build things without showing them, if you must. Ideally, I think you have the right to be treated respectfully and I think that's worth fighting for in its own right, but even if that's out of reach, don't stop building.

It's the adults' responsibility that your relationship is healthy and that your interactions are constructive. You shouldn't have to teach them this. Even so, I hope you'll give it a go. I hope they'll realise how lucky they are that you are giving them a chance to improve, instead of just internalising their mockery and losing your interest in this hobby of yours.

| improve this answer | |
  • In addition to all the good advice above, I would say that at 16 you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Focus on getting good grades at school and getting to University, or at least some job that lets you move out from the poisonous atmosphere they are creating. – Paul Johnson Oct 13 at 15:42
-1

Think about it.

We all have our preferences. What you might find interesting might be boring to me. If creating random stuff interests you. Good for you keep doing it. That's what differentiates you from me.

You don't need anyone's approval. Period.

Still be humble. Respect others and their preferences/decisions. (Your parents do not know this. They have a long way to go)


And as for the matter of meaningless things.

You are a kid. You are supposed to do meaningless things now, so that you can do meaningful things in the years to come. Learn from your mistakes. So don't worry about it for now.


As for the question of how to deal with the poking.

The best thing you can do now is ignore.

Just don't respond to them. When you respond back to them it gives them a sort of joy, making them want to do it more. Take the enjoyment away and they don't have any reason to do it. (you need to be a bit strong here. Don't worry. You can do it.)

Now if you want to go a step further, you can give them back a smile.

Like telling them that I know what you are trying to do here and it won't work on me this time.


Im sorry that your parents are like this.

Please don't hate them. They just don't know how much you are being hurt because of their actions. Some day they might understand and ask for your forgiveness.

| improve this answer | |
  • 1
    This sounds to me like how you might deal with the average schoolyard bully. I think parents must be held to a higher standard, and higher accountability. If informed, OP should be absolutely entitled to expect that they'll respect OPs feelings in the matter. Anything less, OP must be reassured, is absolutely absurd. – dxh Oct 13 at 7:33
  • You are entitled to not be bullied by parents or siblings. To try and ignore the bullying (instead of trying to talk about it, see answer by @dxh) can lead to enstrangement. – Jan Niklas Fingerle Oct 13 at 12:01
  • @dxh Please see that the OP did try to talk to them and nothing useful came out of it. – 2xSamurai Oct 13 at 15:55
  • 1
    @2xS: I did see that. in a half-joking way to test their reactions apparently didn't do the trick. I'd say more seriousness is called for, not resignation. – dxh Oct 14 at 7:20

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.