My 9yo son has a class mate whose father doesn't allow her to socialize with boys. The girl herself, on the other hand, is pretty adamant about being friends with my son, bordering on obsessive. I'd add that my son is a kind of person who considers all of his class mates friends, but I don't really see him as having any special inclinations towards this girl.
I had no clue what sort of situation at home she had until she started coaching my son how to avoid giving clues to her father that she's communicating with my son. For instance, she told him to change his picture on WhatsApp to some animal and she'll change his name to a girls name. Also, if they happen to be in the park at the same time, he should pretend he doesn't know her if her father is there as well, etc.
Later on, I've learnt that her father wouldn't let the girl go on a class day trip to the Opera because "that's no place for girls".
I understand there are cultural differences at play and I'm not in a position to judge another person's parenting. I just see her father's (imo) unhealthy attitude and her trying to get around him by lying as something that could blow up, and I wouldn't want my son anywhere near it when that happens.
I don't think telling my son to avoid the girl will really help, and I don't want him to cause him distress by changing his environment (class, school...). I also don't think there's anything school authorities can do in this case.
Is there any other way out of this situation?
Edit: I should have explained that I (and the school staff) don't consider the girl to be abused. If anything, I think she usually gets whatever she wants, as long as it fits "what's for girls" (cultural/religious/what ever) stereotype, which I think has mainly to do with her social life. And this is exactly why I'm worried. If she was to get found out deceiving her father, there's a good chance she would spin it in a way that makes her the victim, and my son the instigator.
About the title change: I never meant to trigger people politically. English isn't my first language and where I'm from being "conservative" is more about general mindset than politics. Title corrected.
Regarding 9yo having a phone and WhatsApp: the phone we've given him is a dumb phone good only for calls and messages. There's no data plan, and it wouldn't be of much use even if there was. The phone was given to him so that he can go to and get back from school or park on his own and let us know if he wants to go to his frined's place, so basically so we can keep track of his whereabouts and so that he can reach us if he needs to. WhatsApp is installed on a tablet that is strictly for home use and he uses it for talking to his cousins and friends living abroad. We extended this to a few local friends during the time of strict social distancing regulations. The girl saw that he has a phone and asked him for his number. He asked us if it was ok to give the number to her, but at that time, we knew only that they seem to get along well.