I have 2 boys, a 9 year old and a 7 year old. The elder boy is talkative but totally clueless in describing his feelings. His nature is very adjusting and letting things go comes very naturally to him. The younger one on the other hand is very outspoken and likes to make his choices loud and clear.
Both of them get along together very well. When they are together they don't need any one else. The younger one is overpowering a lot of times and is very strong willed. And physically too he is much stronger than the older sibling. But on the other hand he is also very caring about his elder brother and likes to talk about his brother's likes and dislikes, sometimes to the extent to make sure we as the parents cook the meals that his elder brother likes.
They both also have same choices about things. We also have a rule in the home to buy only 1 of whatever we are buying, to make sure they learn sharing with each other. We make sure to let them know that they are supposed to share equally whatever they get whether it is their regular scheduled iPad time or any new toy. And if they fail to share with each other equally, the iPad or the toy will be taken away. We explain to them that as parents we can get them the things they like, but we cannot buy everything twice.
Now here is where the problem starts:
When we buy something new like a game or a toy, the younger one is overpowering a lot of times and keeps the things to himself for most of the time. The elder one never complains about it since he thinks that the toy/iPad will be taken away if he shows signs of in-fighting or inability to share among themselves. The younger one on the other hand doesn't care about the thing being taken away, he wants to keep things to himself come what may. When we notice this we ask them whether they are sharing equally, but still the elder one doesn't complain.
Now my question is - what should I as a parent do to make sure the elder boy gets his equal opportunity. Sometimes I also think I should not interfere between them since none of them complain. But should I continue allowing the younger one to overpower his elder brother? Shouldn't I do something to make sure the older boy learns to speak up for himself?
I would appreciate if someone can share some thoughts on this to help me.