I have several disabilities, but I would still like to become a parent. I realize I am going pretty deep into my disability and putting a lot up to the world about my situation, but to me it is worth it to get some potential answers on how I can make it happen. I asking for help / suggestions on how to overcome the following problems when taking care of a baby. I have autism, anxiety disorder, possibly PTSD, GERD (which may be acting together to cause the extreme vertigo - but we haven't proven that). My wife has Cerebral Palsy and isn't able to lift much:
- PTSD (or PTSD like) symptoms - About 20 years ago, my grandpa was dying of cancer, and I was responsible for taking care of him for a period of time. There is one time he was constantly screaming in agony for morphine, and I was responsible for giving it to him, but couldn't exceed the dose / time. I was about 18 at the time. I had to stay up for 2 nights straight - no sleep, taking care of this and enduring his screaming. It is what I imagine hell being like. I have flashbacks to it whenever I even hear of someone up taking care of a crying infant.
- Mitigations: I am seeing a psychologist, and getting medicine / treatment, but the nightmares and flashbacks still haunt me to this day. These, and other stress triggers my dizziness, discussed below.
- Extreme fear / torture experienced with lack of sleep: Apparently it isn't this way for most people, but not being allowed to sleep evokes extreme fear, anger, and triggers my dizziness condition. I feel physically very ill when I don't have enough sleep.
- Primary concern: I get extreme periods of dizziness that last from hours to multiple days, and have had occasional blackouts during the most extreme periods. Strenuous exercise, mental stress, or not sleeping well brings it on. I currently use a wheelchair to get around during those periods, and can usually walk normally at other times. I still have had many falls, a few even when in the wheelchair. I have almost fallen on the dogs multiple times - thankfully disaster hasn't struck - yet, and I worry the same would happen with an infant (e.g. falling on the infant). I also get weak / shaky when I am in these periods, and drop things / knock things down frequently (e.g. I don't want to drop the infant of drop something on the infant). I have already broken a couple computers due to this, but thankfully haven't hurt anything living, other than myself (I have gotten numerous concussions, sprained ankle, injured my back, and some other minor injuries during falls).
- Mitigations I am currently using: Doctor / specialist visits - No one can seem to fully diagnose me.
- Wheelchair - I use this when moderately dizzy or worse, though I have sometimes been so dizzy I fall out of that / black out / fall out during extreme periods of dizziness.
- Reduce Stress (medication, prayer, focusing on things I like)
- Make sure I get enough sleep
My main question is, is there any way I can have a kid and make it work with these issues? What can I do to make it work? Are there any assistive technologies that will prevent me from dropping the baby, or falling on the baby? I know there is a crib that can open on the side for one, and that would help, but that only helps get the baby out of the crib. I could handle the baby while in the wheelchair, but that doesn't prevent me from falling out with the baby or blacking out and dropping him / her. I am unaware of further assistive technology that would solve the problem though, and would like to know what else I can do to prevent injuring the baby (short of just don't have one).