I have a 16 years old son who is very charming, loving and friendly, but also has ADHD. He is a bit slow in focus with his academics and behaves like a little younger than his age, that may be because he is the youngest in the family and gets much attention from me and his older sister.

However, there is a huge problem in the family which is ruining our family, and it is that my husband hates our son from the beginning. He is very rude with him, taunts him, calls him mental, nonsense, stupid, idiot and so on and the worst part is that he curses him, which my son takes very seriously and gets very upset.

Me and my daughter are very stressed with this situation that is getting worse day by day. I don’t talk with my husband, and fight with him every single time he says bad things and spanks for no reason. For this reason I have been sleeping away from him time by time since two years. We had lots of discussions and every time he promises that he will control his behaviour but it is not happening. He told me many times that he just hates our son and doesn’t like him. Otherwise, there is no problem in my married relationship, and I am happy with this guy if he is nice with our son. It is so disturbing that sometimes I think about divorcing him.

Is it possible to reconcile their relationship, and how would I go about doing so?

  • 4
    This is a Q&A site, but you have no actual question, which makes it unclear what you're asking. "Otherwise, there is no problem in my married relationship, and I am happy with this guy if he is nice with our son." But he's not; he's emotionally and physically abusing your son. Get into counseling ASAP, and parenting classes for him. This is not ok. Aug 6 '20 at 3:20
  • 4
    You have an obligation to protect your child from this ongoing harm. If the counselling anon suggests doesn't yield results quickly, you need to remove this man from your sons life. If you can do that while keeping him in yours is something you can ponder while your son is safe.
    – dxh
    Aug 6 '20 at 12:23
  • 5
    Can you clarify, has this always been the relationship between them or did some kind of argument in the teen years start it? I don't know if I can give a full answer to "what should you do" but in your shoes I would give my husband one and only one chance to get therapy and stop abusing my son, and if he didn't fix things leave him even if my personal happiness would suffer for it. Your child needs to know you have his back and will protect him.
    – Meg
    Aug 6 '20 at 21:26
  • 2
    I am a member of a few sites on the network and I am very pleased with the rules, which work perfectly in Stackoverflow and the others, but this particular site has a completely different focus, much more subjective, and it honestly sucks that such a serious question gets closed over some technically when the answers to it could be helpful for OP and other people, regardless of the way the question was presented. I would let questions like this open, otherwise what is the point?
    – alotropico
    Aug 10 '20 at 9:22
  • On the other side, I agree with all the previous comments and find they could've been answers
    – alotropico
    Aug 10 '20 at 9:24

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