I am a mom to a beautiful and intelligent 11 year old daughter and I feel like I am failing her as a mother. She has been incredibly moody and temperamental for the last few months and I try and talk to her often about it. Often we chalk it up to her looking for attention. But after what happened tonight I am at a loss as to how to handle the situation. Tonight while on video chat with my in laws my daughter was in the kitchen with her younger sister and had taken a steak knife out the draw and had it at her own throat asking her sister if she should kill herself, for whatever reason I turned around to see what they were up to when I saw this and just lost it!! It’s one thing to do it at all a whole other doing it in front of her little sister, who is so traumatised because she thinks her sister wants to kill herself! When I asked her why she did it and what she was thinking she just said she didn’t know and was sorry and would never do it again! I am so worried, I love my child so much and I can’t imagine life without her! Please help any advise is welcome 😔
Take her to a trained psychologist/mental health professional.
The people on this forum aren't trained to diagnose your child's mental state, and suicide threats are something that should be taken very seriously. As a result, I would strongly recommend that you take your daughter to see a trained mental health professional so that she can get the help she needs. This sort of behavior doesn't come from nowhere, so you should probably try to address whatever underlying issues your daughter might have.
It says that you want to talk to her often, this could cause pressure with her. Usually it is best to make them know you are there but without forcing in a conversation, better to let them come to you instead.
But she seems rather far in at the moment, does she have Instagram? or any other social media account? because often during the summer breaks cyber bullying skyrockets... and even beside the casual bullying the last few years have seen a rise in online challenges.
One such challenge starts innocent, with the kid getting asked to make a picture of their pet and it can escalate to things like underwear/nude pics and even daring them to hurt themselves... with the threat that if they don't do it they will release the pictures or harm their families. Best is to check their social media accounts/phones for weird messages/weird friends. If you see "Blue Whale" in a user name in their friends list this is a MAJOR alarm bell. In my Country (The Netherlands) this "challenge" has become a problem to the point that they opened a free suicide hotline under 113 to help kids deal with this.
If she doesn't have an online connection i would advice to seek a conversation with her school to see if the teachers/counselor noticed anything wrong or if they can keep a a closer watch on her... and seeing what she did with the knife i would not shy away from therapy if none of the above works for you.