How to wean a 2 year old off breastfeeding?

Question

What steps can I take to wean my 2 year old daughter off breastfeeding? She is just now starting to sleep through the night, but we still nurse multiple times throughout the day and up until only a few weeks ago, throughout the night as well.

I have tried the "don't offer, don't refuse" method, but she has not slowed down her pace at all and I'm touched out.

I tell her no, or move her hands from tugging at my shirt, and she will scream and yell for hours until I give in. Even when she doesn't cry, she will sneak her way to me when I'm not fully paying attention. For instance, if I'm having a conversation or on the phone where I'm distracted, she can sneak into my lap and begin nursing almost before I even realize.

I have decided I am done breastfeeding and would like actionable steps to take to help wean her completely.

Answer 1

Breastfeeding is a mutual relationship. Both parties must want to, and if either one of you decides that it's the end, then that's it.

If you give in to tantrums, you're reinforcing her behaviour. She knows that if she cries enough and throws enough of a tantrum, you'll let her have her way.

A bit of crying and a tantrum is not going to do any damage to her. If she throws a tantrum, make sure she has a safe, childproof place to be, put her there and walk away so you are out of sight but within hearing. Come back when she calms down, give her some cuddles and attention, and then breastfeed when it's convenient for you. When she's calm. She will learn very quickly that this is the new status quo. (If she's tired/needs a diaper change/is teething/etc then you may want to re-think if this is the battle you want to fight right then, but otherwise there is no harm in letting her tantrum by herself).

It's recommended to wean slowly, I reduced 1 daily feed every week at the recommendation of my doctor, and breastfeeding should be done when you want to.

Answer 2

It sounds like the hardest part for most parents (weaning off of the nighttime nursing) is done, so great job there! I would honestly recommend just taking things one step and day at a time. Start communicating with your toddler about the changes, shorten the amount of nursing that is done in each session, and then try to cut the number of times you do nurse during the day also, but wait for them to initiate each feeding. If you know that it might be time to feed, offer them something else. You could also look into soft straws like the Camelbak ones are really good in my experience. Most of all, give yourself grace and give that little one lots of cuddles during this time since it's going to be hard for both of you. Best of luck to the both of you!