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My 2-year-old granddaughter and 3-year-old grandson always throw a big fit when I leave them after playing with them for 1-2 hours and it breaks my heart :(
I do tell them that "I will be back", and when they see me the next day or later that day, I say (or my grandson says), "Hey Nana's back!"
How do I leave from my 2-year-old granddaughter and 3-year-old grandson after playing with them for 1-2 hours? Any suggestions?
This happens often and they will sort it.
As you say they are always happy to see you so it is not something that lasts long with them.
Have you tried telling them “Nana has to go shopping now and will see you later (or tomorrow) ” or other simple reasons.
Had this when dropping kids off at nursery. Tough for a week or so then they got used to it - it’s often just due to a change in routine. Even the nursery staff helped by asking them to get a game out. It is always tough at the time though.
Fear of separation is something most parents will be familiar with. If it happens to you too, I can only read that as a sign that your relationship to them is working. Yes, it's heart breaking to all of us, but it'd be far worse, I think, if they didn't care whether we left.
You can help them with their anxiety by introducing play into your departure, to lighten up that otherwise sad event. At that age, you will usually get a good response for things like saying "bye bye, I'm leaving" and then take the wrong door, and walk into the toilet or something. "oh no, that wasn't right, now I'll leave", you say, and walk into the wardrobe. I'm not surprised if they'll laughingly show you the door.
Another way would be to put on your clothes in the wrong way, or dress correctly but name the pieces of clothing inaccurately. "I'll just have to put on my shoes" you say, as you put on your gloves, etc.
If it's sad, help make it playful.
I found with my kids they are much better if you tell them in advance when something they don't like (eg: bedtime, chores, putting clothes on to go out) is going to happen. Whatever you do, don't just spring it on them.
So if you can only stay for a couple of hours, tell them that up-front. For younger kids, who might not have the best memory skills, its a good idea to remind them periodically too.
There are lots of good answers already but no one has mentioned that you must make sure that 'throwing a fit' does not give them the outcome they want. Kids are learning all the time, and when a behaviour results in a favourable outcome, they will do it more.
It's quietly likely that their parents give in to tantrums, or are still in the process of teaching the kids that tantrums don't work, but kids are quite able to work out that different behaviours are appropriate for different adults.
So, yes, give them lots of warning and reassure them that you'll be back, but then be firm and walk out. Once the audience has gone, they'll calm down. It won't work instantly; expect it to take a few lessons before they learn, especially if you've been accidently rewarding them for bad behaviour in the past.
Remember that you're also modelling 'good parenting' to the parents, who may be going through this for the first time.
ROUTINE is the key. This is normal and happens all the time.
It should only take a few days, maybe a week.
If the problem persists, then you are going to need to make your visits less fun. Instead of playing, try just sitting. Think about it in the extremes (as kids their age don't often have great memories yet). The only time in the whole day they get to do anything fun EVER is when Nana, is there, then, of course, they cry when Nana leaves, they won't get to have fun ever again. So help it by reversing the role for a few days. Again, only if the issue persists. Make your visits BORING (it won't take much) that way, in their mind it reverses. When will Nana get out of here so I can finally have some fun?
Speak with parents. Maybe they need more attention from mam and dad? Try to calm down physical "intensity" of plays before departure. Turn to "telling stories" instead of jumping in play yard. Even you can give them simplified "homework" to do something before next meeting? Ask them to give you a promise. 2-3y old have capability to understand many things.
It has been said in the other answers implicitly, but it really should be stressed more: do not try to sneak away to make goodbye's less painful.
That will make the next goodbye only harder. (And its great that your grandchildren are so happy with you :-))
