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my husband's 17 yr old daughter (who is not my daughter nor have I raised her--we have been together 4 yrs) has very crippling mental health issues. One of her issues is compulsive hoarding and turning her room into a glaring example of Hoarders (rest of our home is just fine).

I used to clean her room, but, once I got pregnant (currently 8 months), I have not had the physical capacity for it. My husband does not do so--because he says he is "overwhelmed"--he generally seems exhausted by her entire complex of severe behavioral issues. As a result, no one is cleaning it.

What can be done in this situation? As of NOW, her room is not a safety hazard but I can see it becoming one. Both her psychologist and psychiatrit are aware, but aside from prescribing antidepressants and talk therapy, they have not advised on this. Her biological mother is not in the picture whatsoever, btw.

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    Although your stepdaughter's room is the baseline problem, this question is not really about parenting; it's about one adult trying to change the behavior of another adult. It may be a better fit on Interpersonal Skills.SE. – anongoodnurse Mar 8 at 23:35
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    Wrong question, should be “how to get daughter to clean her room”. – Solar Mike Mar 8 at 23:39
  • The way that it is spoken of, "his daughter not mine", and "I didn't raise her." Starts to look like there is more of an issue between the adults, than the child. Where is the compassion and patience for the daughter that has mental issues, and no mother? It is clear there is none. – Lyssagal Mar 9 at 13:32
  • Hi MataHari, would you be open to migrating this question to Interpersonal Skills? While it's technically on topic here, it seems like it might be a much better fit for that site. If you're willing, then I can migrate it for you, just let me know (flag the question or reply @ me here). Thanks! – Joe Mar 9 at 14:22
  • @Lyssagal, this girl threatened to stab me and has attempted to burn our home down – MataHari Mar 10 at 0:06