I recently started dating an on again off again friend of mine back in May. We've been living together in our new house since October. We're both in our mid thirties and have known each other since high school. We have a great relationship. She works and I went back to college after a car accident put me out of work.
So, now the problem. Her 9 year old daughter who I seriously think might be a sociopath. She does absolutely nothing around the house, has no respect for her mother, is rude, has entitlement issues beyond what I've ever seen in a child and she is making our lives miserable. We've tried a lot to solve the issue. We read articles, I try to pay her for simple jobs to learn responsibility, but nothing works.
I should mention that she has an unhealthy relationship with her mother. Whenever her Mom is around she ceases to be able to do anything for herself. When Mom comes home her entire demeanor changes and she turns into an invalid. She refuses to clean up after herself, or do any chores, or help in any way, really.
I know the real problem is she has such an unhealthy relationship with her Mom. She knows she can get away with anything. Her Mom can't see the lies. Whenever it seems like she cares about your feelings it's immediately followed by a 'can you do this for me' question.
She has been spoiled, but I can't seem to get the mother to stick to a program. She is addicted to technology and it needs to be given up. Her punishments need to stick.
I know her mother is on board and I honestly want the best for her, but what can we do? What more can we try? Do we take all her games away until she earns them?
One more thing. Is it alright to call the little one out on her lying? How do you handle that? The mother says she doesn't want daughter to be called a liar even though she is lying right to our faces. This whole situation is causing us a lot of undue stress and beginning to cause me at least the beginnings of depression. How should we start to handle this?