I’ll start off saying this is question is probably not the best fit for this SE, if someone has a better suggestion I’m open to it.
Background: about a year ago, my parents-in-law moved in with my wife and I for financial reasons. Our house isn’t huge, so there was some adjustment, but we were able to basically give them the entire basement to themselves. At first things were fine as we all tried to respect each others’ space as much as possible, but as we have settled in things have started to change, and my wife’s parents are starting to not respect some aspects of the life and space my wife and I share with them.
As a for-instance: my parents-in-law used to live very far out in the country in a large house with no trash pickup. This meant they would often burn garbage or bring it to the town dump once a month. My wife and I bought a small townhouse in a HOA community. My parents-in-law are used to letting bags of garbage sit around for a month or more, but here we have a weekly trash pickup. My parents-in-law will often pile boxes of garbage next to the trash can in the kitchen, or next to the front door. My wife and I have expressed this is not what we want, and that when having friends over this can be very embarrassing. This often stops for a few days before starting again.
I don’t want to talk down to my parents-in-law. I know they are no more happy about this situation than I or my wife, and we have always been in great terms. Lately though, I am becoming more frustrated and my wife has started having fights with her parents again like she’s a teenager. I don’t want to outright punish anyone, but the idea of cancelling our cable TV subscription (which only her parents use) has crossed my mind.
How can my wife and I work with her parents to adapt to all our new lifestyle?
For reference, my wife and I are in our mid-20s, her parents are in their early 50s. Both are able-bodied but neither work part or full time.