can anyone give me some guidance over this.
My parents are still together but for years now my dad is micro managing this entire family. He has installed security cameras everywhere in and around the house except in our bedrooms. Some days when he is not home he will phone me and tell me to switch this light off or close that door (which he sees by logging into the cameras) and when i disconnect the wifi it is literally not even 10 minutes then he phones me and asks me to check the wifi (because he can't log in ofcourse. But he won't tell me that)
That doesn't sound so bad? Here is more. He has an app on his phone which tells him which room in the house has movement from our infrared alarm system and it tells him if the alarm is armed or not. The alarm wasn't on but he sends me a message asking "is the alarm on?" (I know he knows its not.on but he wants to see if i will lie to him?) I said no not yet. I went outside to have a cigarette and he phones me yelling at me saying "i told you to switch the alarm on. Stop smoking and go do it" (so he knows exactly what i do, when i do it and what i dont do and that the alarm wasn't armed) i am 22..
For years now when my family of 6 sit at the dinner table, he won't look up at us to talk to us. His head is mainly facing his plate while he eats but then every bite he takes, he looks at our plates. And if someone is not eating something he will tell them to eat it.
4 days ago i bought a new car. Yesterday he phoned me and the first thing he said was "i see you are driving around a lot these days" like WTF?? Assuming he has some sort of tracker in my car or phone i told him last night i am visiting my friend. I lied. I went to the grocery store and stood there for a few minutes having a smoke. (I'm not allowed to smoke he gives me a lot of shit and kicked me out when i was 20 for smoking a cigarette OUTSIDE by the driveway) i mean i don't drink, don't use drugs, don't sleep around. Anyway. This morning first thing he asked me "where you at your friend's last night or not?" I said no I went to the store.
I find it really hard to become independent like this. And this is just the past week's issues except the dining table one which has been like that for years. He does this to my entire family. I don't know what to do and am very frustrated. Note: talking to him makes him very defensive as 80% of our conversations are only serious stuff like what we must go do, what we shouldn't do you get the point. There is no conversation with him just about anything else like life, news, sports etc. He is a very serious man and i have seen psychologists too many times. I'm very frustrated...