I recently have a quarrel with my kid who is about to get in his youths. The arguments happen more and more frequently. So I don't want to spoil the relationship with him. I love my kid. How can I handle this kind of problem that you and your kids have different opinions toward something?

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    Just to be clear, when you say "in his youths" you're referring to his age? What age is that? And perhaps it would be helpful to be a little more detailed to get a better answer as to what you're asking about, such as with a specific example of a prior disagreement. – Joe Oct 25 '19 at 17:13

Not in this particular case though, in any relationship a good listener should,

  1. Assume that the other person may have some valid points. Hence, listen.
  2. Summarise what the other person says and to get their approval of it.
  3. Try not to interrupt. (Especially not to interrupt with the sense of "this is utter nonsense/ you're are a blithering idiot/ you're stupid/ I don't have time for your Bull Shi*")
  4. Try to empathise with them. (Point 2 will help)
  5. Have self control over primal dominance instincts. (Should not make the other person feel awful/weak/vulnerable/intimidated especially by body language) (Eg: To stare without blinking is a predatory instinct, rather blink often with a calm face)
  6. Acknowledge their feelings, genuinely.
  7. Have patience to do these.
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Answering from child view - children starting at certain age want to be acknowledged, to feel their opinion is important. Try to emphasise that you consider his/her point of view, give it time (do not snap back) and say, you have experienced that already. Ensure you give its opinion more weight as it grows up. I say, in the 20's parents should give advice not orders.

It would help, if you give more details on topic or situation. Nonetheless, I heard great advice from children psychologist - "Do not order, forbid children actions unless they are in danger of life".

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