I have a son that is 15 years old. He has Tourette's and ADHD and they have been managed well by my wife and I and his teachers at school. He also has Auditory Processing Disorder.
Some of the problems we deal with on a daily basis are constant movement, fidgeting, and vocalizations. He doesn't understand body language, many social norms, sarcasm, among other things. He is in a Collegiate High School and has A's with a few B's.
On top of these problems that have become normal in our household, he recently started having problems with OCD. It emerged and escalated very, very quickly. In a matter of 1.5 months he went from what was his normal day to day to his constant fixations, ruminations, and the need to talk to us about them all the time.
He will fixate on something that disturbs him and he can't let it go. He started doing things like rubbing his hands together until he got blisters. He is not intentionally harming himself, he is just doing things compulsively to deal with the obsessive thoughts.
Then the OCD took a serious turn and his obsessions become sexual in nature. And he will see someone, and the thought comes to him, "why did I look at that person" or "I just noticed X body part". He then questions why he looked and if he is attracted to it. It includes members of the family including grandchildren. He is extremely disturbed by this and one of his compulsions is to constantly want to talk to us about what is bothering him.
He is in our bedroom first thing in the morning, he talks first thing when he gets home from school, and every night before bed. We have explained to him that it is the OCD, that he isn't attracted and that articles we have read and printed for him explain that because they disturb him he isn't thinking about it because he is attracted.
Sexual Obsessions and OCD explains what he is dealing with to the letter. Some portions of that are below:
Sexual obsessions can take many different forms. One of the most common is related to homosexuality. A girl who is heterosexual might become obsessed with the idea that she is gay. She might have every reason to believe she’s straight — she has always had crushes on male movie stars, she might even have a boyfriend — but she starts to wonder: What if I’m gay? What if I’m attracted to that girl — does that mean I’m gay? Kids with this obsession might try to “test” themselves by looking at pictures of pop stars and trying to evaluate whether they find them to be attractive or not.
Or a child might worry that he has done or will do something sexual without consent. This can be something as small as worrying that he has offended a peer by inadvertently brushing against her in a crowded hallway. Or he might be plagued with worrying that he might commit rape. He might have zero desire to actually commit rape, but the possibility that he might is terrifying to him. He might walk with his hands in his pockets and keep a larger distance than is normal from people, to lower the risk that he might do something inappropriate.
People with sexual obsessions might also worry that they have taboo sexual desires such as pedophilia or incest. Just as in the other examples, they don’t actually experience these desires, but they are disturbed by the possibility that they might. These kids might avoid being alone with family members, or avoid being alone with children, at all costs.
And
“Like other obsessions, the difference is when kids have them they cause a lot of anxiety and distress and avoidance of the situations that cause the thoughts,” explains Dr. Bubrick. “Pedophiles actively seek out situations to be alone with children and like those experiences, whereas someone with OCD who has those obsessions will feel extreme guilt and shame. They’ll avoid those situations and feel horrible about themselves just for having the thought.”
He starts therapy next week, and I have a psychiatrist appointment for him in two weeks. The question is how do my wife and I deal with him on a daily basis? While we understand the condition it is getting increasingly difficult for us to hear him say the disturbing things that pop into his head as he continues to fixate. Mind you, these are thoughts that include kids from school, church, and people in his immediate family. It is constant and relentless, we feel so badly for him, we are very worried. We spend at least 2 hours a day talking to him. It is affecting relationships all around. It is draining us and we are almost to a breaking point, which he won't deal well with.
