How to begin sleep training with a 2 year old?

Question

Our daughter is 27 months (old enough that measuring in months seems silly now) and we never performed sleep training, so she is still being put to bed after bath and teeth time with a bottle and rocking chair.

We've been asked if we can sleep train her by the nursery staff (she started full time this week) as they give the children a nap at midday by lying them down and stroking them soothingly. This, of course, does not work with our child, so she misses her midday nap (which she usually gets at home) and is very tired by the evening. (Although this does make getting her to sleep easier.)

The other complication is that she can now climb out of the cot on her own (not particularly safely) so we are considering removing one side, as is typical (or so we believe.) My concern is if we use something like the Sleep Lady Shuffle or other process which involves simply ignoring her until she lays down that she will not lay and just climb out of the cot.

Have we missed the opportunity to sleep train or do we simply need to be much, much more patient and insistent? Are there resources for advanced (in both uses of the term) sleep training?

Answer 1

Patience in sleep training is critical. You're setting up a routine, and that takes a lot of time.

My first note would be that sleep training at home is not necessarily related to sleep at nursery. My oldest was extremely difficult to train at home - we didn't have him really trained until more like 4 or 5 - but was the best napper at the nursery. They established a routine with him, and he saw the other kids napping, and just went down like a light. It may have helped, though, that he was in daycare from about 2 months old - so they had a lot more time to settle him in the routine; but I'd definitely expect that the routine at nursery to establish itself substantially differently than the routine at home.

As far as at home, the critical things are to establish a solid routine. Establish the routine that works for her: either with no distractions or with distractions, either early or late, whatever works for her. I think of this article any time I see someone recommend a specific set of things for any kid... My first kid needed distractions, my second needed none. My first needs to go to bed fairly late, my second earlier (this is a bit more difficult to manage in a single bedroom...) Every kid is different; find what works for her, but once you do stick to it and set the routine.

And definitely don't expect anything to work the first, or second, or third time. It takes a lot of time. We had to remove the sides of the bed early - at 18-ish months - because both of my kids are climbers. My oldest as I said didn't take to sleeping alone completely until 4 or 5 - while my youngest took very little time.

Read the many other questions and answers we have on sleep training, read books, and from that collection find something that works for you. Good luck!