My son is 3 years and 9 months old. I have a problem telling my 5-year-old niece that she is bothering my son. She's always telling him that she has something that he doesn't have, or knows swimming and he does not, or that she knows better than him (on a specific case) knowing that she is older than him. He becomes angry everytime she bothers him.

I'm confused and at the same time angry about this situation. I always tell them that it's ok for not being the bigger or the taller. And that dad is taller than me and I'm taller than you and it's ok. I haven't talked seriouy with her parents yet. My son starts the competition in everything with everybody, especially his little brother. I know better than you, I'm the strongest etc.

How to make my niece stop bothering my son?

  • Hi and welcome to Parenting.SE! Did you already talk to your niece's parents, and also to your son? How does it affect him? Commented Jul 15, 2019 at 20:32
  • Thank you for your answer. I haven't talked seriouy with her parents. I know I should do that. And my son start the competition in everything with everybody especially his little brother. I know better that you... I m the strongest... and he became angry everytime she bother him.
    – Sabine
    Commented Jul 16, 2019 at 15:06
  • So do I understand this correctly - your son starts the verbal competition game and want your niece to let it slip?
    – Stephie
    Commented Jul 17, 2019 at 15:47
  • Now he always said he's the best and wants to be always the one who knows everything. I want him to understand that it's ok to not be the perfect one and the best in everything and there are always someone who is maybe bigger but my main problem is how can I deal or say to my niece to stop this behaviour and that they are the same and they must play and love each other even if they are not the same . Hope this is more clear
    – Sabine
    Commented Jul 17, 2019 at 19:32
  • @Sabine is this primarily happening in your home?
    – Adam Heeg
    Commented Jul 18, 2019 at 13:23

1 Answer 1


Tell her she has to watch out for him. That she is bigger and older and does know better and can teach him things (SAFE things, probably not swimming or parachuting) and read to him. Let her win at being the leader and having attention and being praised for being a good kid. Tell him to listen to her. Let the kids work it out together.

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