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I'm 20 years old and have a 14-year-old sister. We've been having a step father for 12 years, she's never known any different. We all used to get on perfectly. She's always been a really good student. Always loving, family girl, popular at school! The last year she has had a complete change. Is it hormonal or "teenager behaviour", we don't know.

She has tons of friends, she's really popular, always out at weekends with friends, going to parties and having fun. She still does that but at home she's rude, horrible to everyone and only cares about herself. My gran had a heart attack a few weeks ago and all she cared about was if she could still go out with her friends. She's so selfish it's ridiculous.

We have to tell her every 10 minutes in the mornings to get up and ready for school and "misses" the bus so she doesn't have to go in. We took her phone off her yesterday for refusing to get up and she flipped. Breaking stuff around the house, shouting, hitting my step dad and threatening to call the police. Today she got back from school, got her phone back and started arguing again. Flipping out and shouting at my mum who is at breaking point. My mum said she'd take her phone off her and ground her if she carried on and she climbed out the window, onto the porch roof and threatened to jump?! She came in and walked off to her friend's house.

She is out of control and we have no idea what to do. She refuses to have counseling and she's not getting bullied. It's just at home she's like this. She acts like a hard done by child but we have all had whatever we wanted (within reason). The school told us if she didn't get to school my mum would have to do jail time or pay a £2,500 fine and my sister didn't even care. "I don't care if she goes" "I'd rather be in care". She hates her family and only cares about herself and her friends. She's good at speaking to me but she just moans and says she just doesn't like hanging out with her family. She'd rather be elsewhere.

Please help, we need advise before our family breaks apart.

closed as off-topic by Joe Apr 9 at 17:25

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  • Hi and welcome to Parenting.SE! Please take the tour and read the help center. Can you add a few more details, especially about your family background (how old are you?, you mention your step dad - what about her bio dad?), what did you try (e. g. did you ever try to talk to her?)? – Anne Daunted Apr 9 at 16:49
  • I'm 20 this year, family background is perfect. He's been our Step dad for 12 years, she's never known any different. We all used to get on perfectly. She's good at speaking to me but she just moans and says she just doesn't like hanging out with her family. She'd rather be else where. Recently it's got out of control though and she's like a different person! – Molly Elisa Bennett Apr 9 at 17:02
  • A change this sudden and drastic can have several causes. I would start by getting her into a doctor. – pojo-guy Apr 9 at 17:20
  • Hi Molly, welcome to the site. Unfortunately we don't generally accept questions about siblings here; we focus on parenting, and in this case it doesn't sound like you have a parental relationship with your sister, but rather a sibling. Your situation sounds pretty tough, and I wish you the best, but it's not a fit with our scope. You can read the faq and the help center for more information. Thanks, and good luck! – Joe Apr 9 at 17:25
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    I am no pro but I would a) find a way to get her to open up is there's abuse in her life - best done by a pro b) talk to her about stepdad and her real dad - she's at the age where she'd definitely interested d) setup strict social media rules. non-adults should NOT have unmonitored access to social media these days. Social media addiction is a real thing c) rule out brain-related stuff by taking her to a neurologist – C0D3LIC1OU5 Apr 9 at 18:07