I am mother of a 12-year-old boy. Compared with other children, his behavior is totally different.

Behavior at home

I think he behaves childishly. He talks loudly, screams and argues. He doesn't listen to whatever I say, ignoring. He doesn't concentrate on his studies. While studying, after every 10 minutes he will be roaming at home and needs something to eat while studying. He doesn't understand what I am able to explain to him. He neither shows respect towards anyone, nor fears anyone. If I say "I will tell your father" then he says what father is prime minister why I have to fear. He doesn't obey anything or anyone, is not showing interest in any activity.

When I shout at him, he will shout at me. When I beat him , he will hit me back. For small issues he behaves like it was a big deal and makes it complicated, by that other problems also arise. If he says "I won't do", he won't do at all whatever we say. He is not able to study by himself alone, needing my help while studying. He is not ready to understand the concept, he just wants to finish the work.

Behavior outside

He's very silent, reserved type, feared type. He does not talk to anyone, doesn't have any friends, but observes everything.

As we stay in joint family he is not understanding any values. I am planning for him to join a boarding school next year.

Please suggest me - how can I proceed with him?

  • 2
    Just out of curiosity, is he very intelligent? Did he need to "work" to get by in the lower grades/levels? Mar 16, 2019 at 13:37
  • While I found it hard to follow your question, this description is reminiscent of a young man I know who was a victim of significant trauma as a preschooler. I would suggest seeking a professional opinion.
    – pojo-guy
    Mar 17, 2019 at 12:05
  • 1
    Hi and welcome to Parenting.SE! Can you clarify what you mean by "then he says what father is prime minister why I have to fear." - something like "What? Is my father the prime minister or why should I have to fear him?". Outside he is the "feared type" - what do you mean? Do other children fear him (that's implied) or is he fearful of others? Mar 17, 2019 at 15:19

1 Answer 1


Maybe something is bothering or bothered him to his deepest core, which he, is unable to convey to other people. As a psychological reaction, he is behaving in the above-mentioned manner. Just ask him if he had gone through any disturbing incident. If that's the prob, you can work on it, if not, you may visit a counselor. Hope it helps.

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