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My 25-month-old is giving me some headache lately.

She often wants something, say, a piece of biscuit. She indicates her desire by pointing to the biscuit. But when we give her the biscuit, she rejects it, either by pushing it back to us, or just throwing it on the floor. And then she starts crying.

And then she asks us to pick up the biscuit for her, and repeatedly rejects it.

What is she thinking, and how can we handle her properly?

  • How many months old is she? Is she still in a baby high chair? – elbrant Jan 19 at 9:58
  • @elbrant , 25 months to be exact – Graviton Jan 19 at 12:33
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    When she points to something, do you ask her anything about it? (Do you want that? Are you hungry?) I.e. do you communicate a lot with her? Do you encourage her to use words in reply? – anongoodnurse Jan 19 at 16:25
  • @anongoodnurse , yes I did. And she usually nod her head – Graviton Jan 20 at 0:48
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I’m very sorry, but when I read this, I burst out laughing.

It’s the “terrible twos!”

Your example is completely classic to why the twos are “terrible.”

In line with the other answer, you child is seeking independence while at the same time needing your help. This is a frustrating time for both of you, but also a time of beautiful growth for your child.

The article I linked is from the Mayo Clinic, which offers some advice on what to do.

I think knowing your child’s behavior is ordinary and called the “terrible twos” will also give you enough information to realize “this is normal” and a phrase to Google to find other advice that’s out there — of which there is quite a lot for this irritating but important phase your child is going through.

Be patient, and best of luck!

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    I was thinking the same thing. Fine motor reflexes would be an answer for a much younger child, but this little girl is clearly frustrated! – elbrant Jan 21 at 4:11
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My guess is that she wants to get it herself, but doesn't know how. If so, then giving her the opportunity to do some more things herself might help, or even give her challenges like putting a biscuit on a low table and asking her to get it.

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Sounds about right...

We are currently struggling with this as well (as I'm sure every parent does). No idea on what she is thinking, but I will share what we are doing that seems to be helping.

Our son will do the same thing, except if you offer the biscuit [item] to him he will say "uhhhh" or some other distressed noise before pushing it away and crying. If we let him go he will just get all worked up and become unresponsive to us. He will cry and cry and won't listen to anything we say.

Lately, when he starts his "uhhh-ing" or crying we have been saying "say no sir/ma'am or yes sir/ma'am" to get his attention and show him that using words is more effective than crying or grunting. Who knows if it actually accomplishes the learning goal we are shooting for...but for us it seems to head off the melt downs and gets him to calm down quicker.

Once he calms down we play what I like to call "Bagillion Questions" where we say "do you want......?" for every item he can see until we find something he wants.

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