This past Christmas while friends were visiting one used my computer. They left their social media logged in and I noticed a picture of my ex along with a few other old friends. I click the picture and see my ex and her 3 children. It's obvious to me 1 doesn't look like the other 2.
I ask a close friend to see if he could have her call. It's been about 15 or 16 years since we last talked, But she calls. We talk for a few hours and then I ask about the child. She is a young adult almost 23 years old. I ask if her and her husband ever got a paternity test. She says no and informs me they have been divorced for about 2 years. I ask her could I get one to know if I'm the biological father. She says no.
I feel devastated. Not knowing is gut wrenching. Friends that I have know for over 20 years all suggest I let it go, but how does a person do that? For the past 2 weeks this not knowing has consumed my mind and all I can think about is trying to figure out how to obtain an answer. I can't just walk up to this young woman and ask "Hey I think I maybe your Biological father wanna get a DNA test?"
This hurts. The situation sucks.
I guess my question is. Should a man in my situation pursue obtaining a paternity test at this stage in this young woman's life?
Does the fact that my ex is divorced help or hurt my desire to find out if I am this young woman's father?
Does the potential harm of finding out your father is not your biological father out weigh learning about your biological father?