To celebrate my kid's birthday or not?

Question

My question may sound weird to many but we are unsure that should we celebrate our kid's birthday or not?

My Son will turn 2 years old on 15th December and we have started feeling the social pressure of having a birthday party for him.

I would elaborate a bit about our situation :

We live in a foreign country and we don't have any family or relatives around here so just some friend's families and colleagues we know. People usually give really big birthday parties here for their child and we have attended many of them in last few year.

So last year when our kid turned one we also got excited and planned a big party and invited many people, but unfortunately My kid got sick and we need to cancel it and did a small cake cutting at home instead .

Me and my wife got really sad watching our kid sick and crying while cutting his first birthday cake. Looking him like that we though what's the point in having a birthday party if he himself couldn't enjoy it.

But now here comes his second birthday and people are expecting an invitation.

We really want to celebrate his birthday to make him feel special but still think that it will be more of party for adults rather kids doing fun.

What should we do? Will it have a psychological impact on my son going forward when he will know that we didn't celebrated his birthdays like other parents did.

Answer 1

At 2 years old, he's not going to remember in the future whether you gave him a birthday party or not.

As for the psychological impact, that's slightly different though again, not because of the birthday.

2 years old is a very important time for a child's social development so I would say yes, have a party for him and make sure you invite lots of other children along for him to interact with.

It doesn't have to be a huge event like your friends have had. You don't even have to have any games (although you probably should) and just let them play with each other while the parents keep an eye and socialise.

Answer 2

At 2, the party is going to benefit you more than him. Take a picture of him blowing out the candle(s), give him a present and you are pretty much off the hook for any social or psychological damage.

In the US, childrens parties are more like a play date with cake and presents. The child gets to be the center of attention, for a couple hours, and the kids get to run around and play. The simpler the better, the kids will still have fun. But those parties typically start when school does. It introduces the children to social skills. They learn to identify one classmate as a friend, and another as more just a classmate. And, they learn compassion because someone (who is kind of a friend) might feel left out if they aren't included. It's a chance to teach them etiquette, that long forgotten art of social courtesies.

Don't feel bad for rescheduling if he isn't feeling well. Better for him to remember a happy experience than a miserable one. (Plus, no parent wants to expose their kid to fevers, colds, flus, etc., so they'll probably thank you.)