Been reading a bit about Respectful Parenting and mutual respect as a parenting style and it appeals to us. We have four kids so keeping track of reward charts and various other trackers is complex and time consuming, we'd much rather work toward mutual respect and a willingness to do the right thing "most" of the time.
One thing that I'm not quite clear on is how to discipline within that framework without it looking like punishment, which then blurs the lines into a more controlling and coercive framework.
For example, we have two 11 year olds who are obsessed with their phones, and would happily wander around with them glued to their faces 24*7. Previously we have given them jobs to do to earn credits towards phone use, but we'd much rather they do jobs because it's the right thing to do in a family and then self-regulate their phone use. How do we encourage that, without the threat of taking them away? It's not just phones, that's just an example. How do we "punish" a lack of respect and cooperation without it being a punishment?