Constipation and not eating while holding back poo. How can we help our son?

Question

Our son is going to be 3 years old. Lately, he had constipation and he doesn't eat much. Now he holds back his stool because he had a rash, but now it is really hard for us to make him poo as he cries a lot. We tried to make him in Indian style toilet so it's easy for the opening but to no vail. People have told us to try many things few of them are

• Melting butter into his milk
• olive oil in milk
• milk castor oil
• orange juice
• tummy rub
• lactoloose solution
• Mix Jaggery into water and give in morning
• Currently we are giving him Movicol

Now his routine. I am very strongly opposed to ice cream as he use to consume at least 1 in summers, Ice vans and in home, he use to have corner yogurt every morning because he "wouldn't eat". Again I oppose it because a healthy breaky habit is what we have to make him get used to. Not pre-processed food like sugary yogurt, ice cream or sausages because "he would eat something". But now I strongly opposed his ice cream and sausages habit because I am very advocate for natural food. We thought it was due to full fat (blue cap) milk too, so we changed it to semi milk (green), though there was a small progress but nothing really changed.

He doesn't eat anything "fully" and a lot of his food goes to waste. Sometimes, he does eat fruit like strawberry but he evades everything saying no. The doctors aren't too concerned because they say as long as he has liquid going in, it's all good but my wife wants to make him do poo everyday. Whenever he hides behind door it means he is trying to poo but doesn't really and it goes on and on.

Now it has become an everyday when he feels like poo is coming, my wife rushes him to sit down in squat position but he cries and doesn't stop. Same thing with making him sit on toilet seat.

What can we do? His taste has developed too much towards ice creams, chocolate or juices. My wife has stopped his ice creams, chocolate a lot as we had arguement over it. Again I am opposed to those things except for juices.TBH it hurts me to see him in pain.

Sidenote - I believe that his wrong eating habits have lead him to this point, where I had stood firm but he always got away with his mum or granny.

Answer 1

Basically I agree with @Nilah's answer. Once a child gets constipated badly enough that it causes a significant amount of pain to pass stool, they decide to hold it in until they can't anymore, and it tends to be hard and painful again, reinforcing the cycle of painful defecation leading to withholding leading to painful defecation.

Sidenote - I believe that his wrong eating habits has lead him to this point, where I had stood firm but he always got away with his mum or granny

I'm not sure his diet has as much to do with it as one painful movement. He could have sustained an anal fissure (which can be painful for days/weeks), or he may have a medical problem. Your doctor is the person who should be directing his care. Stool softeners, an increase in liquids and the proper kind of fiber, possible a laxative so that after passing a number of soft, painless stool, he no longer fears going to the bathroom.

I advise that you get on track with this as soon as possible, so that you don't follow some wrong advice by accident.

_{As an aside, children do not need to have a bowel movement every day. It depends on what they eat, how much they drink, how active they are, and a number of other factors.}

Answer 2

My son is 3 years old and he had constipation problem from 8 months. He used to poo once in two to three days. He used to cry and get blood in hard stool.

Doctors suggested me lactoloose solution. And they checked TSH, iron and vitamin levels. TSH is normal, only iron level is low for him. Now I am giving Tonoferon.

He had poor appetite. Now he is feeling better, only thing I changed is I completely stopped milk and biscuits. Now only he is trying to eat new food. And made him sit in potty every day morning, because doctor told me that the child is holding the stool in since it's too hard. I am giving him 10ml Cremaffin at night now, intially I gave him Evict.

Once the child loses the fear of hard stool they will get normal, only thing is remove the fear, make them sit in potty twice a day. And stop the constipating food like milk, biscuits etc. until they poo regularly.

Now he is normal planning to stop Cremaffin after a week. Initially he won't get stool for two days, even if I keep in potty daily he will poo only the second day. And he will take at least two hours sitting, crying and standing. And now he is feeling better.