My wife and I are in a kind of quasi-separation situation. My wife is emotionally abusive, resorting to the silent treatment, gaslighting and projection regularly. She moved to a different city with our two children (nine year old girl and five year old boy) some years ago, and I have been coming every weekend. Last year I finally realised that counseling etc was going nowhere and set up a small place of my own in the city where they live. I switched to a Fri/Sat schedule so the kids would have Sunday at my wife's place. But my wife surprised me by being deeply upset about this move, and we agreed that we'd work on the marriage. We've been in this kind of half separation since (I have posted on this situation earlier here).
As noted in that earlier question for the last several months my wife has turned hostile and abusive again. My daughter has become reluctant to come to my place, however, since she feels that she's losing time with her friends and she generally just likes being at home. The "losing time" thing is partly encouraged by my wife, since in practice her friends are often not free in any case. I've had several discussions with my daughter, who is quite articulate with her emotions, and she says she understands why I'm not able to stay with them ("because of the fights") and she wants to have time with both me and her friends, but she still doesn't like having to go back and forth. My wife has also been encouraging them to see her house and her family as theirs, while insisting that my place etc. are "your father's" (I'm posting a separate question on how to deal with this question of who is their "family").
I've also negotiated with my daughter that as I miss one weekend a month typically because of work, she can have Sundays and that weekend for her time at home. But she continues to ask if she can return early, not come some days,etc., and for the last few weeks this is becoming a conflict every weekend. Today she half-jokingly referred to the weekends I don't come as her "free" weekends.
I've just found a new place closer to my wife's one that will allow the kids to go to the same park and hopefully therefore share more of their activities when I'm there.
What else can I do to address this problem?
NB:Her closest friend's mother has reportedly refused to allow that girl to come to my place, ostensibly because she does not want to have her in a place with only a man present (I am not sure if this is true, but hope to check directly with her later).