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Before I start this, I wanted to make it clear that I am NOT "ungrateful" of my parents in any way. I love them more than anything on the Earth, but I feel that they are way more strict than they have to be.

Basically, I cannot have my phone after school or on weekends. I cannot go out with friends or have friends come to me, I cannot walk to my school or gym and my parents tend to treat my other brothers better than me. When I ever I try to talk to them, they put me off with the same response "the rules are not up for discussion". As if this was not restrictive enough, I have no privacy whatsoever. My parents constantly check browsing history and check my messages in the middle of the night without my knowledge. I understand the precautions parents need to take when their kids have phones, but this is just too much. I cant even talk to my friends online (if I even talk that much with them in the first place because I never have my phone) without a manner that my parents would approve of. I also have a feeling that this lack of social interaction is getting to me.

Everything I do is repetitive and boring. I feel like a machine, doing the same thing over and over. In fact, I think this lack of social interaction is why I'm not as good as I used to be in school. Unless I have an incentive to work (ex. "Get good grades on this test and I will let you go out with your friends"), I wont try at all, therefore I would do badly since there was no reason for me to work. I try to explain this to them, but they just won't listen. You are probably thinking I'm delivering it the wrong way, but they end up being the immature ones who start getting mad while I stay silent, trying my best to convince them that social lives do not mean I fall into bad habits or bad influences.

I feel like I express more of my feelings with friends rather than family, and that does not sit right with me. I am ashamed of myself when somebody invites me to hang out with them and I respond with absurd excuses like "I have to catch up on a lot of homework". I am regularly known as the kid who never leaves his house, and the people who mock me for that have every right to do so, because I agree with the fact that this is a boring and repetitive life that I have.

Any good parent would know that this is a restrictive and boring life than the one I deserve. Please help me bring up points to use when I talk to my parents about these issues.

  • Hi @RandomKid. It would be helpful to know which country you are in. The expectations in a village in back country Pakistan are quite different from those in metropolitan USA, which differ again from parts of Europe. – pojo-guy Oct 18 '18 at 22:16
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    I have lived in the UK, Canada and the US. I have grown up in these areas, and my parents have spent their lives there since their early adulthoods. Also, this might not help much, but I have grown up in mostly suburban areas – Random Kid Oct 18 '18 at 23:56
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    What is your age? – paparazzo Oct 19 '18 at 0:08
  • Hi, Random kid. This is less than ideal. What is your age? (It matters.) – anongoodnurse Oct 19 '18 at 2:52
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I agree with the comments, location and age can make a huge difference in response, but I will give it a shot.

Your description of restrictions makes it sound as if you have been "grounded" for some mischevious act (which hasn't been disclosed). If that's the case you may just have to serve out your "sentence". If not...

The best way for you to achieve your goal of a social life beyond school might be for you to become more involved in school. (hear me out) Becoming a Cheerleader, practicing to be on one of the Sports teams (basketball, football, soccer, etc.), the Debate team, picking up a musical instrument, or any of the extracaricular things that may be offered at your school. All of those things would be acceptable uses of your time - even for strict parents. All of those things would give you extra time to spend around your classmates. And they would give you a valid reason to be out of the house doing something you enjoy.

Your parents will probably accept the activity because it's structured and supervised by the school. In addition, those activities can be added to your college application(s) and help you get into a better school after graduation. And, hopefully, when they see you becoming happier and learn to trust your ability to make decisions, they will allow you more freedom for other social activities (like going to parties and dances and such).

Hang in there. Being a teen is part of becoming an adult. And part of growing up is learning how to "handle things" in a healthy way.

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