I have a daughter who has made many, many bad choices in her life. At 26, she has already been in several failed relationships, got addicted to heroin, recovered (6 years now), moved in with a guy with a child who abused her, moved in with another guy who had 2 children who eventually used her as his glorified baby-sitter, and has recently hooked up with a guy who is 27 and has 4 children with 3 different mothers. She is now carrying his 5th child.
We have been there for her supportively and emotionally every step of the way and have even allowed her to move back in with my husband and I after the last failed relationship. We have helped her to try and get back on her feet after the last guy drove her credit into the ground and sold all of her things to help support their champagne taste on a beer budget.
I have always told my girls that their father and I will not raise a child of theirs, especially if they bring that child into the world so irresponsibly and recklessly. We are in our 60's now and my daughter was under the assumption, for some unknown reason, that we would embrace this news about her being pregnant. I am emotionally numb!
We warned her about getting involved in a relationship with this guy that she has only known for 3 months and discussed making sure that she was using protection if they were having sex. We have never met this guy, hardly know anything about him, and are so angry, sad, disappointed, and fearful of her future right now that we are seeking our own counseling to help us figure out how to manage this train wreck ahead.
I have no desire to even want to be a part of this shit show that my daughter is determined to follow through with. I feel no emotional connection to the pregnancy and don't want to have anything to do with this reckless life decision she has made.
I see absolutely nothing good coming from this. All I see are the hardships and struggles she will be going through for the rest of her life, let alone bringing an innocent child into this horrible scenario ahead. I have no desire to meet this man and want no part of the pregnancy. I cannot even seem to embrace having this child as part of our lives.
I love my daughter unconditionally and know that she is making the biggest mistake of her life. Most importantly, I know because of the situation, she is going to want and need constant support from her father and I. We both feel emotionally unattached to this unborn child and need our daughter to move out and figure this out on her own. Any advice on how to manage this train wreck ahead without losing complete contact with my daughter over it?