You certainly can get help with much of this. I'll go over your concerns line by line.
- Having to wake up at night
For the average baby, this isn't something you can really do a lot about; at least not without giving up the beneficial emotional bonds with your children. Waking up with them in the middle of the night is a bonding experience, and while it's unpleasant it also has positive feedback elements in the long run.
For babies who have significant problems, though, you can certainly get help. Sleep consultants help you develop and implement plans for getting your baby to sleep more consistently, and while most don't actually stay overnight, some do (though it's typically not necessary).
- Extra work to clean up the house, changing diapers and other manual chores
You can hire a maid, certainly to do this; many well off (or even upper middle class) parents do. Oftentimes, a nanny will be expected to help out with housecleaning and chores as well, depending on the age/number of children in particular (having a nanny for five children also be expected to do housework probably won't work, but a single 3 month old has plenty of naps and other times the nanny can get things done).
You can also hire a Mother's helper, some of whom will help out with light housework, or more commonly will watch the child while mom is helping.
- Dealing with tantrums/crying
If you have a nanny, they can help manage some of this, but odds are you two will be the ones handling most of it. You can get help developing strategies, again; your nanny may be able to offer help, of course, but again for more severe issues you can reach out to a number of resources - child psychologists, occupational therapists (which can help with some of the root causes of behavioral issues, including but not limited to ADHD).
- Being unable to leave the house without the kids
A nanny, mother's helper, or even just a regular babysitter will help immensely here. This is often more of a mental block than a real problem; many new parents are unable or unwilling to leave their kids with another person, even one they know well. But if you're able and willing, it's not hard to find someone to watch your child. Many parents have date night sitters, babysitters who work on a schedule (say, every Friday, or every other Saturday, etc.) allowing parents to have a "normal" life at least once each week.
You'll also adapt here, to some extent. One child you can often just take with you, at least for a while; maybe not to the bar, if you're into that sort of thing, but babies can come along to a lot of activities - until they're old enough to care that they're not mobile, anyway, they're pretty happy just snuggled up to you in a baby carrier. And you'll get to know the other parents in the area; sometimes you can leave your child with them for an hour, and return the favor for them eventually.
In summary, yes - you can get help with a lot of this. You can't outsource 100% of the responsibility, unless you put your child up for adoption of course, but you can get a lot of help and "outsource" a lot of it. But you'll also adapt, and it won't be that unpleasant; a lot of parents find they want to do it, ultimately.