My 17-year-old does outstanding academic work in high school. She ranks #3 or #4 out of 160 students. She sings in school and church choirs and has taken part in game-show type activities at the school.
The problem? She has no work experience and very little social life. In response to my queries, she has mentioned applying for a cafeteria job, but the summer is well underway and she hasn't done it yet. She says the website is down but hasn't wanted to apply in person or try applying elsewhere.
She appears to have a few friends at school and occasionally gets invited to a birthday party, but shows no interest in going out with them or inviting them to our house. She interacts and jokes around with her younger siblings but doesn't seem to do much other socializing.
In response to my query, she has said she wants to go to college but as far as I know has done no research on schools at this point. She also told me she wants to learn to drive this summer but to my knowledge has done no prep work or studying for a learner's permit.
Another big problem is that she is very cold to me and has been since age 7 or 8. I mean it's very hard for me to have a simple convo with her. I mostly get grunts or monosyllables. She almost never initiates a talk with me unless she wants a specific favor like using my printer or something. I don't know if she's mirroring (actually exaggerating) her mom's behavior or somehow feels intimidated by my accomplishments or what. Her big brother is somewhat of a nut case and I asked her if he had hassled her or abused her somehow, but she said no.
I'm starting to get really worried about her. I also see signs of delayed development in her. She's a finicky eater. She'll do things like pick toppings off of pizza that she doesn't like, or take the beans out of burritos. The kind of behavior you see in much younger kids.
Any advice or insights about this situation would be much appreciated.