My kid cries when nanny arrives. Is this a red flag?

Question

Our nanny has been with us for over a year and she had been getting along with our almost 2-year-old kid very well. About a few weeks ago, our kid started to cry when she arrives and does not want to even say hi or good morning to our nanny.

During the day, they still play, read, dance, and do other activities together. Our kid does not cry when we leave her with our nanny.

What I don't understand is why she cries when nanny arrives but not the other time like playing and during the day. She still hugs our nanny and acts normal for everything except this one.

Is this a red flag? Is there something I can to do ease my mind?

Answer 1

I wouldn't say that is a red flag. There's no way to say for sure if something's wrong, of course, but odds are that your child is experiencing separation anxiety, which is very common at that age and typically comes and goes over the next several years (they'll have higher anxiety for a few months, then less, then more again).

Basically, your child realizes the arrival of the nanny coincides with you leaving. While she's quite happy to be with your nanny, she's sad that you're leaving. It's quite hard for younger children to understand that you have to leave, and even to some extent hard for them to understand that you'll come back. There's a good Daniel Tiger episode and song about this ("Grownups come back"), which may be something you can use to help her understand that you'll come back.

We learned that we had to simply leave at times like this, and trust that our children would stop crying pretty quickly. They do; the nanny should be able to help her find something to take her mind off you leaving, and then she'll be a happy camper.