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My little girl just turned 13 months. She cries all the time with me (mother). I'm at home with her all the time. They only thing I can do to settle her is giving her food. I know this is a bad habit but she will cry for hours and I've done everything to try and make her happy.

She will follow me crying and will whine when I'm around. If I leave her with my parents or her dad she never cries. They actually don't think she's that bad with me cause she isn't bad with them. In the car she constantly cries as well. I've had to pull over and just get out and calm down because it doesn't stop. I'll give her something to eat and the moment she's done she will cry again. If her dad drives with her she's all happy and never cries! I'm so desperate to make her stop.

What can I do? I feel like I'm failing because she only does it with me.

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    Hello and welcome to Parenting.SE! I see this is your first question so thanks for entrusting this community for providing advice to help your little one. Please come back and make sure to read the tour and visit the help center to find out more information about us and how we do things here (you even get a badge out of it if you read the whole thing). – SomeShinyObject Apr 30 '18 at 0:11
  • How does she behave towards you and others, besides crying? Does she gesture that she wants away from you when you pick her up from someone else? When she wants to get picked up and your parents as well as yourself are in the room, would she rather "ask" them or you? And how are you yourself behaving? Are you often stressed, do you sometimes lash out? – Etaila Apr 30 '18 at 18:13
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It sounds a little backwards, but maybe you should take this phase of constant crying as a compliment. Barring any medical issues, which I doubt there are if you say she is fine with other people, I can almost guarantee this a phase, and just like most unnerving things with children, it will pass.

This is all very theoretical but perhaps your daughter has found a high level of trust with you. She recognizes you as a primary provider in her life and has settled for only the best. Thus she cries until she gets exactly what she wants.

My recommendation? Make a routine and stick to it. Meals, snacks, and naps all should occur at the same time, if possible. Giving in to her desire for food outside of schedule can lead to some nasty habits for eating in the future so please be careful with that.

As far as the crying goes, as difficult as it may sound, ignore it. Be aware of it so you know when the cries change from general whining to serious needs for help and in that situation, of course do something. But in those moments where she is just crying to try and get attention, reassure her, maybe give her a hug and let her know "mommy is here" and try to keep a smile on your face. It will pass.

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