My daughter is being manipulated by her boyfriend. He would like her to quit school; he is very jealous. I'm really not sure exactly how best to handle the situation. She recently turned 18 so there's not much that I can do about it.

He is a few years older than her and taps his backup against a wall. He needs a place to live and would like her to work full time so she can help support a household.

I am beside myself and we've had terrible arguments about the situation. His parents are very different and support the strange behavior. I am completely heartbroken and at a loss as to what to do. I just want her to remain in school but it doesn't seem that that is going to happen. Any help would be appreciated.

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    First of all, welcome! I understand that this must be tremendously frustrating for you, and I hope you will receive good advice here. I have taken the liberty to reformat your question somewhat, but in a few instances I wasn't entirely sure about your intended meaning. Please review my work and update as necessary. – KlaymenDK Apr 6 '18 at 20:22
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    How long have they been together (is this a fling or a long-term relationship)? In which country are you located (this determines which laws apply and which support offerings are available)? What is your (and hers, his, and his parents) social and economic status (are they obviously taking advantage of her, or could this have a reasonable outcome)? – KlaymenDK Apr 6 '18 at 20:25
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    Hi and welcome. I am so sorry you're going through this. Can you tell us how we can help you? Do you need advice in talking to your daughter, and if so, about what: staying in school or about the relationship she's in? Do you have any kind of a relationship with the boyfriend? Is he trying to come between you and her? More detail and a specific question would help us to help you. – anongoodnurse Apr 7 '18 at 1:33
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    What is "taps his backup against a wall"? – paparazzo Apr 7 '18 at 18:45
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    It's seems pretty clear to me from the last 2 sentences, that OP wants help with getting their daughter to stay in school. – learner101 Apr 9 '18 at 7:13

One thing I can't advice is badmouthing her boyfriend. Better tell her that he's okay but obviously he doesn't love her. Otherwise he would be searching for a way to support their household, not her.

Note that it's more likely that her boyfriend will dump her, not the other way around, since she is the needing one in these relationships.

You could also provide some amount of funds to her on condition that she stays in school.

Of course she could then wrestle you for more money promising to leave school otherwise. This is a weak proposition. She is no longer dependent and you want something from her, making propositions weak as a rule.

Yet there is hope that their relations turn sour faster than you run out of money and respect. When they are done there is hope that you can retract the deal while keeping her in school.

  • Please read our help section on How to Answer. – anongoodnurse Apr 7 '18 at 20:49
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    There seems to be nothing wrong with this answer. Have an upvote to compensate! – Rares Dima Apr 20 '18 at 13:51

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