I emphasise that this is a prospective question - I am asking about how to prepare for a situation that has not fully arisen yet.
My wife is emotionally abusive, and while we are currently in a phase of working on our marriage, I think it is most likely that it will end soon. One of the central parts of her abusive behaviour has been gaslighting - denying things she did and accusing me of things I didn't do, while implying that I am mentally ill - and over the past year that has developed into full-blown lying. She will act badly and then simply lie about what happened, usually by claiming I did something I never did.
We have two children - an eight year old girl and a four year old son - and I think that so far my wife has not been consistently dishonest with them (though she has done it to our daughter on occasion). However, as they grow older and begin to challenge her further, I expect her to start using the same tactics on them, unless she works on herself, which currently looks unlikely.
My question is - is there anything I can do to gently teach my kids to trust their own memories and versions of reality (for instance, keeping a journal), to prepare them for this eventuality? And assuming we do get a divorce, what should I do when the children tell me of episodes like this? What should I tell the kids?