My son is nine months old and his father has seen him 10 times and recently has been cancelling his visits. We do not have custody in place but there is child support.
I'm not sure if I should just cut him off or let him keep making plans and cancelling. My son is also afraid of him - he cries and it takes an hour for him to get used to him each time he visits, but he only stays for 2 hours.
I have offered him to stay at my house 1 night a week. This weekend was supposed to be the first time and he cancelled.
We have no relationship. I did want to be with him, but he’s not a stable person he works at McDonald's. Has no education, dropped out of school in 10th grade, he was doing his GED then stopped. Lives with his mom and uncle in a 2 bedroom apartment and sleeps in the same room as his mom when she’s not in rehab for her drug alcohol, seizures problems. He doesn’t have a license or permit, he’s almost 23, he says he doesn’t smoke weed anymore, but if you don’t then why do you have no money left out of your paychecks? I know how much he makes due to court ordered child support and I know how much he has left.
I just looked at my dates that he has come to see him because I write them down. It’s only been 7 times and he has off work Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s off from work and now every Saturday and his excuses that he can’t come are "oh my mom had seizures", meanwhile his mom is in rehab 2 hours away, I got called into work I call each time and they say he’s off today visiting his son, I don’t have money to come out there. He pays no bills besides his phone bill which I know is only $50 because I used to pay it when we were together, so how don’t you have money to come out here he lives 20 min away.
He says he would be here every day if I would let him and I told him he could, but he always comes up with excuses on why he can’t come. I have tried everything but he shows no interest in him, he never texts or calls about him even when he’s asking me when he can come. He knows nothing about him. I don’t feel the need to tell him if he never asks. I recently had to take our son the the Hospital with a very high fever, he didn’t text back until the next day and all he said was “OK👌”
Should I stop his visits?