We have a group of friends that came about through having children the same age; so the children are friends and the parents are friends, and we hang out quite a bit. A couple of years ago, another family joined that group, but our child and this new child don't get along.
The children are 5 and 6, and my son is mildly autistic, so his ability to cope in social situations is perhaps not as good as other children.
From our perspective, what happens is that this other child will keep doing something that annoys our child, even when asked to stop, until our child ends up lashing out at him, at which point the other child comes running to the adults to complain about our son.
Of course, we speak to our son, give him timeouts etc. because whatever the circumstances, it is not appropriate for him to react in that way. However, whenever the other child is questioned about his behaviour, he always says that they were both doing it (whatever it was he was doing to wind up our son) and his parents just accept that.
We find the other parents behaviour frustrating, because even though our sons response isn't acceptable, we feel that not all of the blame lies with him.
We feel we have to avoid spending time with the group when this other family are there because we don't want to put our son in that situation he clearly can't cope with. However, it's unfair that this other child gets to hang with their friends and our child doesn't.
I wonder if there are any strategies that we could teach our child that would allow him to cope with these situations. Asking him to come and tell an adult when he's having a problem with this other child has not been successful so far.