My son plays alone and is not interested in making friends. How can I help him?

Question

I have a 3-year-old son. From his birth, I tried to keep mobile away and restrict him to very limited TV. I play with him whenever I find the time. We play block games, making zoo with animals, plantation, shoe polish, cleaning and DIY activities. I involved him with each and every activity to engage with real things.

He loves animals. He knows around more than 60-70 animals and he knows how these animals sound. Animals include wild animals, pet animals, sea creatures, reptiles and birds. He always wants to hear stories about animals. He always wants to visit the zoo and he loves it. He owns around more than 80 animal toys. If we give him options to buy toys, he always prefers to buy animals only.

In the park, all children have some fancy story, cartoon story or movie story. My son wants to have some stories which have animals only. He tries to mix up but no one pays attention to his stories like I do. I am always try to mix him up with same-age boys/girls to be friends. But, he gets bored with them. I saw his face and understand. In the park, he is usually digging under soil, collects stones and insects, is playing with a street dog. Made a home with stones and keeps insects inside that home. I bought a bicycle for him. But, after 2-3 days, he rode the bicycle to park and then started the same thing.

He is good in education also. He has good drawing skills. His teacher always appreciates him and told me one day that your son is the only student in his class who doesn't need any assistance. But, he doesn't have friends in his school, too.

I want him to play with other children. I don't know whether I am doing right or wrong. You even find my question is confusing. What I understand, my son is living in some fairytale world. I am questioning myself whether I am overdoing my parenting. I don't know the answer.

How can I make him play with other children?

Answer 1

I just want to see him play with other children. How can I?

Give him more time.

I know this is difficult. It hurts to watch your child and think he's socially inept, or a social outcast, or whatever is going through your head. We want our children to be extroverted because that's what society currently teaches us to strive for. We're apt to think there's something wrong with shy or introverted kids, even if they're completely fine the way they are.

At 3 years old, I don't think there's really anything wrong if he prefers playing by himself. He may just be a bit on the shy side, or simply not interested in playing with others yet. In my experience, kids don't do things until they're ready for them. Playing with others works the same way, I think.

If he still shows no interest in playing with others in a year or two, you can still start worrying then.

My oldest child didn't play with others for a long time, not even in organized play. He'd quietly walk to the side and stay there, watching the others have fun. It was incredibly hard to witness.

Now he's ten and, while still a bit on the shy side, he has friends and is accepted by his peers.

Maybe your child is like him.

Answer 2

I don't recall any friends at age 3. At age 4 I had about 6-8 friends, and we would bounce between houses. Most of my friends were at least a half a year older, and some were several years older.

Some people are extroverts. Some are introverts.

Encourage but don't demand. Let him be himself.

Answer 3

Have you talked with your paediatrician or a child psychologist? This could just be a phase, perhaps your kid is just very introverted, but he also may have actual problems when it comes to social interaction.
To reassure you a little: from your description, it sounds like he is a) quiet intelligent and very interested in the world around him, just not necessarily in people, and b) perhaps awkward and shy around others, but not totally unable to talk to others; if there was a serious communication-issue with him, I think he would need a lot more help from his teacher. As he seems to follow the teachers directions well, he seems very capable of understanding the directions given to him, after all.
I don't know what kind of clubs you have available, but if there is something like the boy scouts around, he may find he fits in there. Find him some activity where he can explore the world with other kids. Also, if there is such a thing in your area, he may benefit from children yoga classes, or perhaps martial arts. Basically, anything where he has to focus on himself, and others just occasionally partner him or happen to be doing the same thing may work for him.
I hope this helps a little :).

Answer 4

I've seen something similar happening to a cousin of mine when we were growing up(i am 10 years older than him). What i noticed is that he didn't get close to kids his age because he was honestly more advanced than they were for his age.

Considering, as the teacher said, he is the only one who doesn't need help, he wants to learn about animals and has a good memory for it, plus early good drawing abilities are also a good indicator for inteligence and brain development. It is quite possible that others kids can't keep up in a conversation so he gets bored of them. It's specialy tough at this age..

An idea would be to actualy test his inteligence and based on that make a decision to possibly insert him in some group activity that stimulates the brain!

Maybe you got a genius on your hands! :)

I hope this helps a bit.. Don't be scared he is so so so young! he will make friends with time, no doubt.