Good morning everyone. Thanks in advance if you read all the following.
I have turned 21 this year and yet, my parents still consider me as a little child.
For example, they call me everyday at 7 P.M if I don't come home from work. I have to call them beforehand if I want to go out unbothered, or else they will call me every 10 minutes or so, with eventually the help of my older brother threatening me if I don't answer. I have nothing to hide but it's very VERY annoying having to tell my family what I'm doing every evening.
They really want to have total control and knowledge of what I do, at any time. They also want me to ask them when I want to buy something (with my money), and if they don't want to we keep arguing and basically I have to convince them.
Also, if they want me to come home immediately and I don't, i will get a fight with them the precise moment I come home. Speaking of which, my parents DO NOT SLEEP until I'm home. So psychologically I'm also tempted not to be out for too long, because I love them and I don't want them to feel too bad or to get to angry. They are quite old.
They wake me up at morning if i wake up late for work, they yell at me if i'm still awake late in the evening.
If they could, they'd take all my spendings and only give me about what I need to eat, and manage the rest of my money themselves (yes they already told me that seriously).
I have to say that I pay for about 75% of our total house spendings (mostly debts), which means that I cannot move out for the moment. That also means that I am not dependent of them, it's the other way around.
I am really tired of this. I feel like I have no independance at all, and the more it goes the more pissed I am when I interact with my parents. I don't want to talk to them a lot, I just do what they ask me to and the rest of the time I barely talk to them. So this is really poisonous for our relationship and house life.
I know that this behavior shows that they care for me, and that they love me, but I really want this to stop. I want them to understand that they should not call me if I'm not home at 7p.m., and that all decision I take is mine and only mine. I want simply to have the freedom of doing what I want, without having to ask for their approval first.
I already feel kind of stuck in my life because most of my earnings go into my parents debts, them being tired, and unable to find a decent work. For the moment I cannot search for a wife because I do not have a good situation. But I just want freedom for now, that's all i ask for.
I feel like they lack confidence in me, and still think I am 12 years old. this didn't help for my self-confidence. I do not smoke, nor do I drink. I don't make foolish actions. I feel that I live responsibly enough to take my decisions in life alone.
How can I make them understand that they should let me breathe ?