I am 29 and the mother of two boys, aged 5 years and 2 months respectively. I am facing a behavioural issue with my elder one. He’s very stubborn and throws tantrums whenever he’s told to do something. He’s noisy and a hyperactive kid (this bit is sometimes embarrassing as well when in public) and I have to run after him like 24/7 to keep things under control. He keeps on repeating the same questions hundreds of times and I try to answer them like 90 times, but if I refused to answer he usually start shouting. He’s loud and noisy and gives no attention when told to keep his voice low. He’s been spoiled by me and family a lot in beginning but now he’s not in good relation with anyone. Like he comes from school and prefers to go to his room than to say Hi to all. Also he’s giving me a tough time in potty training, too. He’s trained for wee but for poo he’s not cooperating at all. I have tried scolding, threatening and treating methods but none seems to work. He prefers to dirty his undies and later wash them himself (as punishment) than to tell me and do it in loo. I can’t say he's scared or hesitant of using a loo cx rarely do accidents with wee.
He’s sometimes very reasonable, looks after his younger brother, makes his bed and cleans the room, but these episodes are very short and rare. He’s also very picky with food. 3/4 thing out of the whole world he eats.
What should I do to make him a little calm and responsive in a good way? I feel bad when someone tries to talk to him or asks him for some help and he always refuses and never communicates in a good way.