My wife and I have read Carrol Dwecks book "Mindset" and buy into her thought process and studies. The book explains how praising for abilities rather than efforts has unintended long term repercussions. e.g.- "You got an A, good job, you're so smart" (incorrect) vs. "You got an A, good job, you must have worked really hard" (correct).

We have put a concerted effort into changing our own mindset and the way we praise. Adjusting our natural inclination to praise for ability has been hard but we're getting there.

Not many other parents we talk to have heard about this area of study. If you haven't been exposed to it this is as succinct of an article as I can find on the subject.

I'm interested to know if others find this way of thinking and child raising valuable. Thanks.

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    Is there an answerable question here? You've read the studies and now you want ancedotal evidence? – Christopher Bibbs Oct 20 '11 at 11:59
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    Hello GollyJer, and welcome to the site! If you haven't had an opportunity to do so yet, please review our faq. This question as it stands is off-topic for our site. Please see if you can rephrase it in such a way as to ask a specific, answerable question. Requests for general opinions and/or anecdotes is more appropriate in our chat room. You can also pop in there and ask any questions you might have about the site. – user420 Oct 20 '11 at 12:50
  • Yeah, I kind of thought that was the case but I find it difficult to find a place to actually discuss things like this with other parents. I tried to phrase it as a question but it isn't really answerable. Go ahead and close the question if you want. – GollyJer Oct 20 '11 at 21:08
  • A better question might be, "Can praising my child's abilities have negative repercussions?", and then in the body of the question, state that this book has made you think about these issues. This has a definite "Yes-No-Depends" aspect answer, and is more likely to get responses. – deworde Nov 8 '11 at 14:21