My older kids are 11 & 9. Their father has never been there for them. All ways in & out never constant. It seems every time he gets a girlfriend he's got something to prove to her so he'll talk to my kids on the phone for 2-3 weeks then he's gone again, then in a year or 2 he'll try to contact them again.
This has been going on for 8 years now. He's never once paid any amount of money towards them. Most years he doesn't even call for their birthday's or Christmas. The last 6 years I've been with my husband and had another baby with him, he treats my older kids as if they were his. He shows up for games and practices, school events and is there when they just need their daddy.
My son takes it especially hard. He's in therapy and after he talks to his bio father on the phone or whatever my son acts out starting the day after he speaks to him, he talks back, he's disrespectful & doesn't listen or follow the directions of his teachers or myself. He can't focus and has a difficult time staying on task. He has meltdowns threw out the day. By meltdown I mean crying so hard he can't catch his breath, he clings to & asks things (to daddy, the man that stepped up) like are you going to leave me like Albert, are you still going to be my daddy, are you still going to do stuff with me the stuff we do, are you still going to come to my games & practices?
My kids should not have to go through this but some how he makes me feel like the worse person in the whole wide world. I told him that if he truly wanted to be a consistent with them & be apart then he can find a family councilor and first appointment him & I will go to hash out whatever needs to be hashed out that the kids don't need to be a part of & if that goes well then him, I & the kids can go and the more progress him & my kids will determine the next step. He doesn't want that. What should I do, am I wrong? Help pleassssssseeeeeee!!!!