I am a 34-year-old single mother of 4. My children are 14 years old, 13 years old, 5 years old, and 9 months old.
Just to give a little background, in March of 2016 my brother died suddenly on my birthday. He and I were very close. Prior to this happening, I had never so much as smoked a joint. Occasionally a mixed drink but that was it. I tried meth. I am not proud of my choices at that time but, it is what it is. Needless to say, my 13-year-old spoke with her counselor at school and she in turn called Child Protective Services (CPS).
Now, my mother and I have never had a good relationship. We can only stand to be around each other for short periods of time before we are at each other's throats. Well, my older two are with their father. My 5-year-old and 9-month-old are with my parents. I completed everything I was supposed to complete per CPS, been clean from drugs since July of last year. However, because the father of my 9-month-old has an addiction problem, my mother was named primary managing conservator of my two youngest. The only way I can be a part of their lives at the moment is to live with my parents.
I moved back home in August of this year and it has been hell. I feel that I do everything possible to take care of my kids, clean up after them, feed them, etc. Yet she will not let me leave with my baby. My 5-year-old and she don't get along, so she is ok with her going with me when I leave. She is set however on "this is her house and her rules". Honestly, I am coming to believe that she will never give me my children back, unless I conform to every specific detail she sets forth.
If I do anything she doesn't agree with, I am automatically in the wrong and a worthless, no-good, pos. She undermines me to them both and I can't say anything to her about care for my kids. I was the sole caretaker of my kids all their lives until this past year and a half. I just want to take my kids out of this environment and start fresh.
What can I do?