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My son will be 3 yr old soon and it's been a turmoil. I feel emotionally overwhelmed by his crying out of the blue, when he doesn't want anything he's crying, breakfast time, lunch ... And he's not sick. I think I have spoiled him.

I don't like it when kids cry all the time. How can I change this?

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    Are there triggers (even minor, apparently meaningless ones) or is it really just completely random? When you ask him what's wrong, does he say anything? – Acire Sep 28 '17 at 14:40
  • No trigger, just like say when he doesn't want something. He's just a serious cry baby. – user22314 Sep 28 '17 at 18:13
  • Does he stop crying when he gets what he wants? – Bronco Sep 28 '17 at 19:13
  • Yes he does. That's why I'm thinking maybe I have spoilt him. – user22314 Sep 28 '17 at 19:26
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So it sounds like he's learned that he can get whatever he wants from you by crying. Smart kid! That means he can basically get whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

The first thing to recognize is the problem isn't with him. He's just being a toddler. The problem is you always give him what he wants when he starts crying. You are the one who needs to change.

The solution is simple. If he wants something you don't think he should have, tell him no. If he starts crying you don't need to get angry... there's nothing wrong with crying. But he does need to learn that crying does not get him what he wants. Reassure him that you still love him (you may have to wait until he's no longer mad at you).

If you are telling him no to most of the things that he asks for, you are on the right track. Never give him what he wants just because he's crying. If you change your mind and decide he can have what he wants, you still need to wait until he's done crying before you tell him.

It'll be rough for a day or two, but you have a smart kid he'll catch on quickly. This is also a great time to start teaching him to say "please" and "thank-you". Teach him the correct way to ask for things every time... it makes a big difference. If they forget, gently remind them. For example:

CHILD: "I want food!"

PARENT: "That's not how you ask. Say, 'May I have some food please?'"

CHILD: "I want food!"

PARENT: (silence)

CHILD: "I want food!"

PARENT: (starts to walk away)

CHILD: "May I have some food please?"

PARENT: "Yes you can!" (with a smile)

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    You're so right, I think he's taking advantage of me. Thanks for the answer hope this works. – user22314 Sep 28 '17 at 23:32
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    I'ts not really taking advantage of you -- just how he's learned to get what he wants so far. But that's ok, because you can teach him new ways :) – Acire Sep 29 '17 at 0:19
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    Upvote for recommending to avow for yourself. It is important that you still feel good when agreeing on the demand of your child. As soon as you don't you are doing it wrong. – GrazingScientist Sep 29 '17 at 10:08
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He is frustrated or tired. He cannot explain it to you, he doesn't know how. So he cries because he has no other way of dealing. Try to work out which it is, what it is he is trying to tell you and work on teaching him to tell you in words or actions what the problem is and how to deal.

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