I have a daughter who's 3 and a half, she's bright but always talking and is now at that "why everything" age.
I have another daughter who's now 4 months old. For the first 3 months she had colic which is now "getting better" but she's only ever learned to scream her bloody head off (think Nazgul from Lord of the Rings, literally, except way, way louder) -- so now, if she makes any sound at all, that's the sound she'll make. Hungry? Eeeee! Bored? Eeeee! Happy? Eeeee! Incessant screaming for no discernible reason, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. My wife, at least, can breast feed her which will shut her up for a while ... but (if my wife has any milk) she will throw most of it up again, and we'll have to clean her, her clothes, and whatever she managed to hit. It's come to the point where any sound from here will make me think "shut up, shut up, shut up..."
Big sis a morning person, up at 6 at the latest. Little sis is a night owl, wanting her last meal at 10 or 11, and occasionally at 4, too, so we are getting very little opportunity for sleep or, you know, all the other stuff that goes into a household, a relationship, an adult life.
We're getting zero (quality) sleep, we're exhausted and we're breaking down, both of us.
Right now I'm home alone, typing this while listening to Run DMC at full blast (which is nowhere near loud enough), after my wife took the kids to the playground because I was sobbing uncontrollably over yet another batch of dirty baby clothes.
My wife is at home, has been since before birth, and will be for another two months. Then she will start working again. She's totally not ready for that. No sleep, no energy, no milk, no quiet, no sleep, repeat.
I have been working all along, but will reduce my hours in two months. Honestly, work (especially the commute) is a haven: people are behaving like grown-ups (mostly), not (much) screaming, but I dread going home. At the same time, I feel bad for leaving my wife alone with that noise machine.
On top of that we have all the "grown up stuff", too. Dishes, shopping, replacing the washing machine before it breaks down, finding a replacement pc backup service (our old one is shutting down, and backups are import). Fortunately money is not an issue, but we we have zero time, zero energy, and don't have room for a nanny.
I'm supposed to be the lucky one, or the strong one, because I'm not dealing with that havoc all day long, because I get to go to work. Yet I'm breaking down after "only a few hours" so my wife does not dare to take a (much-needed) retreat somewhere not-home.
How the hell do you guys stay sane?
We are paying for house cleaning. We could also pay for groceries, but don't even have the time to figure out available options. Similar for other "grown up stuff", we find it difficult to "out-source".
We have some family nearby; they're either seniors, or busy same-age-as-us-folks who have, on occasion, taken the older one in for an overnight stay (and a fun time before/after). Once she stayed for two nights, but this brings me to my next point: The minute my wife is not with her children, she misses them so terribly (I think I could go a few days without seeing my kids, if I can say that without sounding like a horrible dad). I have not sought therapy or professional advice (yet, perhaps I should look into that).
Edit the 2nd:
Thanks for all your nice responses, and the edits to this post. I am going to respond to answers as comments to those answers.
Edit, 3rd edition! Ah, look at that. Little sis is teething! That surely explains some of the hollering. Well, thanks to your responses, and some thinking and growing on my part, things are a bit better now.