I'm currently 17 years old, and I'm in my last year at the highschool(year 13). I live in germany with my parents.
Since I can remember, my parents made me want to have success. They taught me reading since I was four, which provided me big advantages in primary school. I was entered in primary school early and skipped the first class. I must have been very talented in maths and logical thinking, which finally resulted in me coming to the "Gymnasium" (it's the only middle school type where you can dircetly get the right to study, kinda the best).
Until there everything was fine. It was in 2010 when I came to the new school. There was no big problem about that, at least for the first half year. Then my father started to really push me to work. He forced me to at least work for two hours every day, unimportant which plans I had for a day. I wasn't able to just "say no", that I didn't want that(additionaly at this point, I believed all that my parents told me.
My grades were extremely good at this time, in the english grade system, it would have been something very close to an "A-only" average. It went on like that for about a year, when my grandparents were shocked what I old them about my learning pensum(I didn't see them often, my father and they had a dispute, and we children had to suffer under it. I saw them twice a year, if I was lucky. They tried to convince my father to give me some more freedom, which resulted in a complete destuction of their relationship. To the present day they have never taked with each other again.
My father was the opinion that grandparents should totally keep away of the upbringing of his children. We weren't allowed to see them more than once a year, and even that was only because I was old enough to understand why we weren't allowed to see them more often. This was the first time when I started to question the "system of success"(a name my parents invented.
My father raised my learning time to three hours a day, made me start a sport (which I don't really approve) and entered me in guitar lessons. To be fair, I really enjoyed the guitar and have already won diverse competions. He always said I would be allowed to stop doing the sport when I would reach a certain grade, but that was a LIE. I reached it four years ago and still have to go to the training. He said he would force me to continue doing it as long as he could.
This went on for four years, when I had the possibility to flee from all this pressure for half a year. I was really glad my french teacher supported me to make an exchange program that ook half a year in France. I was so glad to finally be free from my parents always standing behind me. Although I reduced my learning time to one hour per day, my grades kept extremely good.(My french teacher in France told me that I had beaten nearly the whole class in a BIG homework about classic literature) This was the second time I really doubted the need of the really intense learning all the time.
Back to germany I was completely overran by my father wanting me to return to the old rule of the three hours. I was 14 at the time and this time I had the strengh to argue with him in a actual position and with arguments why the intense learning was uneffective. Since then we only had temporary peaces at home. My mother fleed from this stress and decided that she would want to have nothing to do with all this learning stuff.
My father mde me enter my math studies early (program in the local university to give to very good scholars the possibility to enter their studies early), I succeded in this as well, I already have completed the first regular semester without ever have seen the univerity.
Since 6 months I have a job as a programmer in the Fraunhofer Institute, which I took to have two afternoons in the week to do what I enjoy, working on programing on a high level (I started this very early in a school project and always kept interested). My father has continously raised the amount of time he wants me to learn in a week. Now he is at 30 hours/week, which is insanlely much. This means that I spend the ENTIRE weekends on learning, doing nothing else the whole day.
I have stopped arguing against him, but now I can't stand the pressure anymore. He threatens to throw me out of the house if I don't do what he says. I have already started my plans to move out at the day I get 18, but that is still almost a year away.
How can I make him clear that I rather have little bit less good grades, but living more strightened out, without him making me leave the house (I completely think he would do that)?
I have not been able to write down every detail, but if you have any questions please feel free to ask.